Over My Head
by Spade Flamel
Summary: When detective Ryan stumbles upon a major human trafficking ring, a price is put on his capture- dead or alive. And Esposito will make sure he does whatever it takes to get rid of it. Slash. M/M
1. In which there is much stumbling

So, I really just wrote this because I figured there weren't enough Espo/Ryan fics on here. Enjoy! ;)

Oh, and I promise I'll get back to Defensor, which is completely different from this story.

**Warnings: **Contains explicit intercourse between two men, vulgar language, violence, rape and drugs.

Summary: When detective Ryan stumbles upon a major human trafficking ring, a price is put on his capture- dead or alive. And Esposito will make sure he does whatever it takes to get rid of it.

~/~

Chapter one:

In which there is much stumbling and cursing.

~/~

"Ryan, I need you to tell me exactly what happened, starting from when you left the precinct." I hunched my shoulders under Beckett's tired glare.

"I left, and got in my car to drive home," I started miserably, sinking down into the memory.

There was a crash on Lincoln, so I had to take 33rd to get to my apartment. My phone rang, and I looked down at the caller ID. It was Jenny. The engagement wasn't going well. We were fighting every other day, and she insisted that I wasn't doing enough to make the relationship work. She said that every day when I went off to work, she was worried I wasn't going to come back. I had told her that she would have to live with it or live without me, and she left. That was the first time she had called in a week.

I snorted and went to press ignore when something decidedly heavy crunched down on the hood of my car, making me drop my phone onto the floorboard. I cursed and slammed on the brakes, watching the body slide off the hood and onto the ground.

"What the hell?" I turned off the car and stumbled out. There hadn't been anyone on the road, I was sure of it. I ran around to the body and knelt down beside it. It was a young woman, barely twenty, with long, blond, (obviously dyed) hair. But the most noticeable attribute was a bullet hole right in between her wide set eyes. My head swung up toward one of the building next to me and saw a head disappear into one of the upper story windows.

"Freeze, NYPD!" I shouted and pulled out my gun, running into the building. And right into the arms of a room full of gunmen.

"What happened after that?" Beckett inquired. It was only then that I realized I had drifted off, thinking about the horrors I had seen in that building. I shrugged uncomfortably, a crease forming between my eyebrows.

"They took my gun and brought me to a room with a bunch of other people chained to the wall. They were mostly young girls, but there were some boys," he told her, trying to keep himself as detached from the experience as possible. "They chained me the wall as well and left for a few minutes, which gave me a bit of time to talk the girl next to me. The next thing I remember is waking up to an empty room with my gun next to me, and you guys bashing down the door. I think they drugged me." Beckett's eyebrows rose into her hairline.

"Human trafficking ring?" I nodded.

"That's what the girl told me," I replied. "She said that they had been there for a while. Some people had been bought or killed, and new ones came in every few days." Beckett nodded, obviously deep in thought.

"How did you find me?" I asked. Beckett smiled slightly.

"Esposito got worried. Said you hadn't met him at the café this morning and you weren't at the precinct when he got in. We tracked your phone, and found a dozen squad cars around your car and a body, but not a sign of you. Turns out one of the neighbors saw everything and was more than willing to tell us where you were once Esposito was through with him." I nodded slowly. It made sense. Neither of us ever blew off our morning coffee. Especially without even a text or phone call. "Speak of the devil." Esposito was marching over to the back of the ambulance where I was sitting.

"Yo," he addressed Beckett. "The only one that saw what happened was the man from before. He called the uniforms and they came to check out the body. Claims that he thought Ryan had already come back out of the building, which is why he didn't report that as well." Beckett frowned.

"Well, how did the men inside escape the building with a bunch of prisoners?" Espo sighed, clearly frustrated.

"The basements are all connected on this street. They probably went underground until they were out of the Uniforms view and then got transportation elsewhere."

"Well, why did they leave me?" Espo frowned thoughtfully.

"Ooohh, maybe they were aliens and they implanted a tracking device in your teeth!" Beckett rolled her eyes and turned around.

"Castle, that's completely ridiculous," she told the tall man who had just walked up behind her.

"Yeah, bro. It's more like they didn't want the full weight of the twelfth comin' down on their heads when we learned that they kidnapped one of our own." Beckett smirked at Castle.

"That's a _much _more likely theory, Esposito," she said. "Castle and I are going back to the precinct to set up the murder board for Jane Doe. Ryan, do you have somewhere you can go besides your apartment? The captain says that he wants you out of the line of fire until we can determine whether you're going to be a target or not."

"He can stay with me," Espo stated. "He'd be safer with another cop than at some hotel." Beckett looked at me, eyebrows raised. I nodded.

"Thanks, man." Espo nodded, his thoughts clearly somewhere.

"You'd do the same, bro."

"Okay, we've been here most of the day, so you two go home and get some rest. See in the morning." And with that, Beckett spun around and walked towards her car, Castle following after her like a stray dog.

~/~

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I jumped at the low growl. Espo had been quiet for the entire car ride back to his apartment, clearly in deep thought.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Dios mio," he muttered almost inaudibly. "You went into the field without any back up! Without even calling me! I'm your partner, bro. What were doing?"

_That's why he's been really quiet, _I realized. _He's angry. _

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I thought the guy who threw the girl out the window was going to get away and I dropped my phone on the floorboard. I'm sorry, Javi." He visibly relaxed, and sighed.

"It's good, bro. I'm just glad you're alright." He pulled into his spot in the parking garage and shut off the car.

"I don't have anything to wear tomorrow," I realized, a bit too late. Espo paused on his way out of the car.

"You can just borrow some of my clothes. We're about the same size. We'll swing by your apartment on the way home tomorrow." I nodded and climbed out of the car.

"That'll work."

~/~

I was back in that room again. The girl next to me was cowering against the wall, hoping to not be seen. I had lied to Beckett. I was conscious for a lot more than a few minutes. It had been more like a few hours. I could hear the screams of some poor girl on the far side of the room as she was beat for tripping one of the men and the low, muffled sobs of one of the boys being forced to blow another guy. I struggled weakly against the cuffs, my wrists already bloody. I was worn out from the drugs and trying to escape.

"It's no use," the girl next to me whispered. "If you don't stop, it'll be you next." I knew she was right. I could already feel the burning gaze of one of the men on me. So, I did the only thing I could. I stopped fighting and gave into the drugs. Eventually, I became aware that someone was calling my name.

"Kevin, Kev. C'mon, bro. Wake up." I struggled against the dream wearily, trying to come back into wakefulness. When I finally managed to open my eyes, I saw Espo leaning over me, a worried frown marring his features.

"Javi?" I muttered, confused. Then I remembered falling asleep on Espo's couch while watching one of his action movies. Some time during the night a blanket had found its way onto the couch and it slipped off my bare shoulder as I sat up. "What is it?" Espo knelt back on the carpet, turning his gaze to the floor.

"You were having a nightmare," he told me. I frowned.

"Oh, sorry for waking you up." Espo looked back up at me and smiled.

"It's a'ight," he replied in a light tone. "I just want to make sure you're not gonna fall asleep while doing for share of the paper work." I groaned, imagining all the forms that must be sitting on my desk, waiting to be filled out. Espo laughed at my miserable expression and patted my shoulder.

"Get some rest. You're gonna need it for tomorrow." I sighed and laid back down on the couch as Espo padded back into his room. The last thing I remember thinking is that Espo's couch smelled a lot better than Jenny's bed.

~/~

When I woke up for the second time, it was to a beam of sunlight hitting my face. I groaned in displeasure and turned my face to bury it in the pillow. A low chuckle startled me, and I looked up, blinking blearily.

"Morning, honeymilk." Javier was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table in nothing but sweats and sipping a mug of coffee. I grunted in response. That stupid grin just widened.

"You are way too happy in the morning, man," I groaned, rubbing my eyes and swinging my feet around to the ground.

"Nah, bro, you're just too grumpy." I scowled at his smug grin and reached up to scratch my head. Javier made a low noise in his throat and the grin slipped from his face.

"What is it?" I froze my hand, trying to figure out what would make my partner react like that.

"You're bleeding through your bandages." He set his mug down on the table and got up. I brought my hand down and looked at it. Sure enough, the white bandages were stained a bright red. I sighed and watched Espo walk into his bathroom and stumble around, cursing. When he came back out, he was holding a first aid kit.

"C'mere." He nodded to the table and sat down. I got up from the couch and walked over to the other side, holding my hand out for the bandage he had pulled out of the kit. Instead of handing it to me, he pulled my arm forwards him. I shrugged and let him unwrap my right and then left wrist. He studied them for a moment, before glaring back up into my face.

"You said that you were only conscious for a few minutes. Unless they lined the cuffs with razors, it would have a taken a good bit longer to cause this much damage." I winced. I should have realized he would catch on. "Why'd you lie to Beckett? I read her report." I sighed, and looked down at where his dark hands were holding my pale ones.

"If I had told her, she would've demanded that I get counseling. I'm fine."

"Bro, you are _not _fine. You saw something in there and it's fucking with you." His grip on my hands tightened almost painfully.

"Javi, please. I'm fine," I pleaded. "I'll see someone if it gets bad, I promise. Just please don't tell Beckett." Espo let out his breath in a slow sigh, nostrils flaring, before slackening his grip on my hands.

"Fine, but if you have another nightmare, I'm going to Beckett." With that said, he began to rewrap my wrists.

~/~

"Javi, you have _no _fashion sense." Espo smirked, watching me button up the ugly pinstripe dress shirt.

"It's the only one that would even remotely fit you," he said, obviously trying not to chuckle. "You're a lot smaller than I thought." I glared at him.

"You sure this isn't payback for me not calling you in for back up?"

"Would I do that?"

"Yes, you would." His grin reminded me of a hyena. Or a shark.

"Then, yeah. Consider it payback." I groaned and threw on the overly large suit jacket, before grabbing my things and following Javier out the door. Halfway down the hall, my phone started to ring. A quick glance showed that it was an unknown number. I pressed 'answer' and held the phone up to my ear.

"'Lo?" I grabbed Espo's sleeve and pulled him back so that he would stop.

"Detective Kevin Ryan?" A man asked over the phone.

"Yeah, who's this?" I put the phone on speaker at Javier gesture.

"You stumbled upon something you shouldn't have the other day. This is your only warning. We will find you, and we will kill you."

"Listen, you bastard. I don't know who you are, but you ain't layin' a hand on my partner, got it?" Javier growled. I just stood there in shock.

"Detective Esposito, I presume?" The voice menaced. "Protecting your boyfriend will only get you killed. Just stay out of this, and I'll make sure you don't get hurt."

"He's not-" I started to protest, but Espo was already replying.

"You're gonna have to get through me, pendejo." And then he grabbed the phone and snapped it shut, pushing me back through the hall.

"Back into the apartment, bro. We got some calls to make."

~/~

So? What do you think?

Be gentle with me, it's my first time writing a slash fic. ;)


	2. In which there is a liberal use

For your reading pleasure, unedited and churned out as quickly as possible. Because I love you guys that much.

And because I didn't add it in the first chapter: **I don't own anything. Happy?**

**Chapter 2:**

**In which there is a liberal use of the words 'Yo' and 'bro'.**

~/~

"C'mon, Beckett pick up the goddamn phone!" Esposito had been pacing around the small living room for the past few minutes dialing and redialing Beckett's, Captains, and Castles phone number to no avail. I watched from my perch on the black leather sofa with worried interest as he growled and stabbed 'redial' on the cell.

"Espo, I don't think she's going to pick up this time if she hasn't the past three," I said not unkindly, trying to not anger the man any further. He stopped pacing and slumped down on the sofa next to me, sighing as the answering machine picked up again.

"I guess you're right, bro," he sighed, sinking down into the soft cushions. I pat him on the leg, not noticing that he relaxes slightly as I do so.

"It's fine," I tell him. "We're two detectives in our own right. We can take care of ourselves." Esposito shook his head slightly.

"We don't know how far these guys' connection goes. They already got your number, who knows when they could be here, bashing down the door for you." I raised an eyebrow at my partner.

"Anyone could've found my number in the phone book, man. It's not like it's a big secret, or anything," Javier threw an exasperated look my way.

"Bro, there has got to be thousands of Kevin Ryans in the phone book. There's no way they could've looked through them that fast." I thought about it for a second and shrugged.

"I guess you're right." It did make sense. How else would they have been able to stay hidden for that long in a populated area unless they had bought off a cop? "I don't want to admit it, but we could be dealing with some pretty hard core people here." Espo nodded a slightly relieved look on his face.

"Alright, so we need to get hold of-" There was a soft knock on the door and we both froze, listening for any further noise.

"Esposito? Are you here? Is Kevin with you?" I frowned, wondering what _she _ was doing here.

"It's Jenny," I murmured to Javi. He gave me a strange look.

"Didn't she walk out on you?" I nodded.

"But she did try to call me the day I was held hostage." He nodded, still frowning.

"I'm gonna go check it out, bro. Stay here." He stood up, pulling out his gun as he rounded the corner to get the door. There was a sound of a door opening, and then I heard Jenny.

"Is he alright? Is he here?" She asked, concern evident I her voice. Javier didn't answer her question immediately.

"How did you get my address, and why would you think Kevin was here?" He asked her, suspicion lacing his words.

"Beckett told me what happened." She sounded flustered. "I just wanted to make sure he was alright, because he didn't pick up his phone, and he always answers his phone." I mentally snorted. _You walked out on me, why would I answer the phone for you? _

"He's here," was all Javier said. "I'll be right outside; I have a few calls to make." The door closed and then Jenny rounded the corner. She looked a bit worse for the wear. Her make up was slightly smudged and her eyes were red rimmed.

"Kevin. Are you alright?" She asked awkwardly. I nodded, gesturing for her to sit in the only chair.

"We need to break the engagement," I told her bluntly, once she had taken a seat. I had thought about it for a while after she left, and I had told myself that the next time we met face to face, I would break it off. She looked down at her hands, which were resting in her lap.

"I know," she said tiredly. "It was never going to work." I nodded, even though I knew that she couldn't see me do so, as she was still looking down.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." She shook her head adamantly.

"It's my fault. I knew you were a cop, but I didn't realize how much it would bother me." She lifted her head and smiled brightly at me. "But there's someone else to take care of you now, so I don't have to worry anymore." I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

"Who?" She stared at me for a second, mouth gaping. Then she started to giggle. The giggles turned into laughter, and she laughed until she was holding onto her sides, tears streaming down her face.

"You really don't know?" She asked in-between gasps as I sat there, eyebrow still raised. I shook my head and watched as she laughed a bit more. "Well, you'll just have to figure that out for yourself. There's no way I'm telling you if you don't already know." She stood up, clutching her hands together.

"You're insane," I told her, standing up as well. She grinned up at me.

"You already knew that." I nodded. I did. "I'm going to miss you, Jen." She walked over and hugged me around the waist.

"I won't be gone forever," she said, releasing me from her surprisingly strong hold. "If you ever need to talk, just call me. I really would like to keep you as a friend." I smiled and ruffled her hair.

"That sounds good." Together, we walked to the door. I opened it and smiled at Javier, who had apparently finally gotten ahold of someone. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me about this other person?" I asked Jenny, who shot a quick glance at Javier as well.

"You'll figure it out soon, hopefully," was all she said on the subject. "Now, you should go back inside, I need a quick word with Esposito." My eyebrow shot into the air again.

"About what?" She smiled and turned to Javier as he finished his call. "Just something I need to tell him." I shrugged and walked back into the apartment.

"Bye Jenny." The last thing I saw before closing the door was her waggling her fingers at me.

~/~

The ride to the precinct was uneventful. On the way, Javier told me that he had finally gotten hold of Beckett. She and Castle had been searching the underground tunnels that the traffickers had escaped in, and there had been no service. She had been alarmed to hear about Javier's theory about a dirty cop, and had told them to get to the precinct as soon as possible.

"Ryan, the guys down at IT need your phone so that they can try and trace the number back to the caller," Beckett said, walking up to my desk and setting down a cup of coffee. I nodded, and fished it out of my pocket.

"What's the coffee for?" I asked, handing her the phone. Beckett smiled slightly.

"Esposito asked me to give it to you," she replied, turning around and walking to sit down at her own desk, which was covered in her 'lucky elephants'. "He said you didn't have time to get some this morning." I smiled and picked up the cup, inhaling the enticing aroma.

"Isn't that Espo's shirt?" Asked Castle, who had just walked in from the elevator. He smiled suggestively and raised his eyebrows. I made a sour face at him.

"We forgot to stop by my house last night. I had to borrow his clothes." Castle just chuckled and sat down in his chair next to Beckett's desk. Beckett herself smiled and then turned around, obviously trying to hide it from me.

"Oh, come on," I protested. "Nothing happened."

"What happened?" Esposito asked, walking out of the break room with a mug in his hand.

"Nothing," Castle and Beckett replied at the same time. Espo looked at me for clarification.

"They're teasing me about wearing your clothes," I told him. Instead of snorting and throwing a witty comeback like I had expected him to, he blushed slightly and hurried to his desk. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Captain poked his head out of his office.

"I need to see you four," he told us, and then leaned back into his office. We all slowly got up from our desks and piled into the cramped office. "Shut the door," he told Esposito, who had been the last in the door. Once the door had been closed, the Captain leaned his arms on the desk and regarded us with a serious expression.

"This dirty cop theory- does it seem likely?" He asked, looking at each of us individually. Beckett slightly stepped forward.

"Yes, sir," she said quietly. "And with all due respect, I think that makes it necessary for Ryan to not have a protective detail." Captain nodded, obviously agreeing.

"Esposito, I'm sorry to ask this, but do you think that Ryan could stay with you for a few more days?" Espo nodded, glancing at me.

"That's no problem, Captain. But I'm not sure it'll be enough to protect him.' Captain sighed and rubbed his face, leaning back into his seat.

"The only other thing I could do is take him off the case." I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. "Which I'm sure he won't want. I'm sorry; my hands are tied." Beckett nodded slightly.

"He's right. It's also to our advantage to keep Ryan on the case so that our cop doesn't know that we're onto them." Captain nodded.

"Maybe he'll get careless and make a mistake. Now get to work. I want this case wrapped up by the end of the week."

~/~

"Yo, just got word on our Jane Doe." Espo strode into the room, brandishing a file in the air. "Name Kaci Collins, 23, lives in a penthouse in Manhattan." I whistled.

"Her parents must be loaded." Javier nodded, setting the file down on Beckett's desk. I rolled over, going way past her desk as usual, and Javier grabbed my arm and hauled me back.

"Have we managed to contact the parents?" Javier took a seat next to Castle, who had just gotten back from coffee.

"Yeah, they're downstairs getting checked in. Uniforms'll bring 'em up in a few." Beckett sighed and opened the file.

"Alright, you and Ryan interview the parents while Castle and I run down any connections to human trafficking Kaci might've had." Javier and I stood up and made our way over to the interview room.

"So what were you and Jenny talking about?" I started and looked at Espo, who had been relatively quiet the entire day at the precinct.

"We broke it off on good terms."

"Really?" He didn't seem too surprised. I nodded.

"Yeah, it was never going to work, anyways," I informed him. "What did Jenny talk to you about?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied. "She just wanted to make sure you were really alright." I could tell that there was something else from the way he wouldn't look at me, but I just raised my eyebrow and said nothing. He would tell me when he was ready.

"After you, honeymilk." He opened the door and beckoned me inside. I rolled my eyes and good naturedly bumped him on the shoulder as I walked past.

"Just watch, man," I started. "When you get a girlfriend, I am going to be all over your sorry ass." Espo entered the room after me and looked down.

"That's not going to happen," he mumbled. I raised my eyebrow and looked at him quizzically.

"Any girl would be glad to have you, Javi." He looked up at me and smiled, though it looked tight.

"I know," he told me. "It's just not going to happen. Now, the parents' names are Gregory and Stacy Collins. The father owns a large portion of the computer company HP."

"No wonder they were able to afford that penthouse," I snorted. Javier nodded an agreement just as there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I called. A uniform opened the door to admit two miserable looking people.

"You found my baby?" The woman asked me, once she had taken a seat. She was pretty, even at her age with long brown hair, blue eyes, and delicate features.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied. "We're very sorry for your loss." She nodded and wiped her face with a tissue that she had been wringing in her hand.

"I understand that you were also held hostage by those monsters." That was Gregory Collins. I shared a glance with Espo and nodded. "Then I'm glad that you're on my daughters case."

"Is there anyone who might have dragged her into this?" Javier asked him. The slightly balding man sighed.

"Yes, she had a boyfriend shortly before she disappeared, but we never met him." Espo frowned.

"And there were no pictures in the penthouse. Did you happen to have any?" Stacy Collins shook her head.

"We didn't really talk to Kaci after she moved out," she told us new tears falling down her face. "She was really busy with school."

"Is there anyone that we can talk to who might have known who this boyfriend was?" I asked. Gregory Collins nodded.

"Her best friend, Alexa," he replied. "My wife can give you her phone number." Stacy nodded and pulled out her cell phone, scrolling down the contacts and rattling off a number to Espo, who took it down on his notepad.

"Thank you for your time," I told them, holding open the door. They filed past me and walked toward the elevator when Javier walked out.

"You okay, bro?" He asked, a worried frown etching lines into his forehead.

"Yeah," I said. "Let's go find Alexa."

~/~

You guys flatter me. Really, you do. J

And to the anon, Jay- Thanks for the review. You make me happy.


	3. In which Kevin hates needles

You guys should feel loved. I stayed up until 1:30 to write this for you. Now make me feel loved, and review. ;) If I didn't answer to your review in the last chapter, I'm sorry. I still love you. But my email was being wacky, so it wouldn't let me reply. It'

I don't know why, but I really love this chapter. It's probably going to be in my top three with this story. Anyways, here's the next chapter, up within a few days.

**Ch. 3**

**In which Kevin hates needles. **

**~/~**

Alexa's apartment complex was a nice one, I decided as soon as Javier parked his car.

"You think she's another trust fund baby?" Javier asked.

"Probably," I replied. "It would make sense if she was such good friends with Kaci." We entered the building and walked towards the elevator, where a large group of old ladies were waiting.

"Oh, you boys can go on in," one of them said. "We're only going up to the second floor." Javier and I traded uncomfortable looks before shuffling into the elevator.

"There's not gonna be enough room, man," I whispered to my partner as we stood next to each other. As if to prove my point, one of the old ladies bumped into me as she was trying to make room for her companions. I stumbled, and Javier grabbed me around the waist and hauled me bodily against his chest. Well _this _was awkward.

"Sorry, thanks," I muttered, trying to pull away, but found that as I tried to back up, I pushed up against the old lady behind me. I sighed, resigned to my face being pressed into Javier's neck and my arms squashed in-between our chest. _Why was this elevator moving so damn slow? _Every time I inhaled, I smelled a bit of Javier. It was a slightly intoxicating scent of vanilla and cinnamon. I shook my head mentally. What was I thinking? Javier _did not _smell good. And I most _certainly _was not sniffing his neck surreptitiously.

"It's so nice to see a young couple as close as you two are," one of the old ladies said. I couldn't tell which one, as the lady behind me was currently pressing me even closer to Javier, forcing him to wrap his arms around my back once more just to keep me from being too crushed.

"Oh, we're not-" Javier started, but the same old lady cut him off.

"It's okay, sweetie, we won't judge you," she said. "Madge and Charlotte here have been partners for 42 years." I snorted quietly in amusement and shifted slightly, trying to get my aching wrists out from between mine and Javier's chest.

"What are you doing?" He murmured into my ear. I jumped at the brush of air against the side of my face and stopped shifting.

"My wrists hurt," I muttered back. Javier made a noise in his throat, and slipped his hands up to my shoulders. "Wh-what are you doing?" I asked nervously.

"I'm turning us around so you can move your wrist."

"Oh." He slowly shifted us around so that I was in the corner, and I could remove my hands from between us. "Thanks." I smiled up at him and he grinned down at me.

"No problem, bro."

"Why is this elevator not moving?" One of the ladies asked. I looked over. It was the one that had been squashing me.

"You forgot to press the button, Madge." That would explain why we were in here for such a long time.

"Oh," The lady who was closest to the buttons pressed floor two. "And what floor are you two boys getting off on?" She called back to us. I started and struggled to reach into my borrowed jacket for the slip of paper.

"Floor 8," I said when I had fished the paper out. Madge pressed the button, and I finally felt the elevator lurch and move upwards. When the elevator beeped at floor 2, all the ladies got off and I moved away from Javier wish a relieved sigh.

"Here, bro, let me see your wrists." Javier held out his hands and I placed mine in his. He pushed the sleeve of the jacket up, and rubbed a thumb across my bandaged wrist. "It's bleeding again," he murmured. I slowly pulled my hand back and pushed the sleeve of the jacket back down.

"I can deal with it when we're done here," I told him. "It'll be fine." His lips tightened worriedly, but I could tell that he wasn't going to argue with me about it. There was nothing I could do about it now, anyways. The elevator chimed and I glanced up. Our floor.

"Come on," I said, grabbing Javier's sleeve and pulling him out of the elevator with me.

"What was the room number, again?" He asked. I glanced down at the paper in my hand before shoving it back into a pocket.

"803," I told him. Three doors down from the elevator, as it turned out.

"Mrs. Volkoff?" Javier knocked on the door.

"NYPD. Open up, please." There was a tinkle of broken glass and a really high pitched scream that was abruptly cut off from behind the door. Javier and I exchanged a look and he kicked open the door, the both of us pulling out our guns.

"FREEZE, NYPD!" Javier shouted. Inside the apartment, there was a man in a mask holding a gun over a woman's prone form. It looked as if he had smashed her upside the head with something. When the man saw us come in, he raised the gun up to us.

"Put down the gun!" Javier shouted at the same time I did. The sound of two guns being cocked behind me made us both freeze.

"I do think that it should be you who puts down the gun, Detectives," the man in the mask said with a faint accent that I couldn't quite place. "Or my friends will be forced to put a few holes in Detective Ryan, and I will put one in Detective Esposito's head."

"How do you know who we are?" I asked, trying to buy us some time. The man shook his head.

"That will not work on me," he said. "Now put your guns down and raise your hands above your head or I will put a bullet in Ryan's knee." Immediately, Espo dropped his gun to the floor, and I followed suit, albeit a bit more slowly, and we both raised our hands.

"Move," One of the men behind me grunted, shoving me with one hand while holding his gun against my head with the other. I stumbled forward and walked until the man jerked me to a stop and ordered me to turn around and stand next to the masked man.

"What are you doing?" Javier asked nervously, face a study in panic. The man behind me chuckled.

"There's a price on your friend," he said. "We're gonna deliver him to someone, and if you cooperate, he may get there alive and in mostly one piece."

"You'll never get away with it," I told the masked man conversationally. "The police will find you." Javier's eyes pleaded with me to shut up, but I didn't pay him any mind. Unfortunately, I should have listened. My head jerked to the side as I felt the butt of a gun slam into my jaw. I groaned and clutched at the spot, my jaw throbbing. _Well, _that's _going to leave a bruise, _I thought through the haze of pain.

"Look, just leave him alone." Javier's voice cut through the haze. "If you walk away now, I won't tell anyone you were here, alright?" The masked man laughed. It was a harsh, uneven sound. Almost as if he didn't do it often enough.

"Not likely, Detective," he said. What was it about that accent that seemed so familiar? I let Javi and the man argue for a bit while I mulled it over. It reminded me a bit of grandma… That was it!

"You're Irish. You're with the Irish mafia,' I interrupted the masked man. Everyone in the room froze and stared at me.

"You know that how?" He asked. It was understandable. His accent was very faint. But with someone who had grown up surrounded by Irishmen and women, it was almost impossible to mistake.

"My family's Irish, dick wad." Another smash with the butt of the gun and I fell to my knees in pain, clutching my now bleeding face.

"FREEZE! NYPD! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!" Beckett. The most blessed voice I had ever heard. I listened for the clatter of the men's guns and lifted my head up to watch them raise their hands above their heads.

"Do not think you are safe, Kevin Ryan," The masked man growled at me as Javier rushed to our side of the room along with Beckett and six other uniforms. "There are others after you. You will never be safe as long as you have a price on you." Javier heard that last bit and scowled at the man.

"You keep on thinking that, pendejo," he growled back as Beckett ripped the mans mask off and put him in cuffs.

"You alright, bro?" He turned his attention to me, gently prodding at my cheek.

"Yeah," I mutter. "Hur's t' talk. Bu' nothin's broke." He wiped at the blood running down my face.

"Looks like you're gonna need stitches." I groaned and turned my face away. I hated needles. I heard Javier chuckle a bit and then he patted my head as if I were a small child. "I know you don't like it, but we can't have you bleeding out on us every time you open your mouth. Now, c'mon." He stood up and hooked his hands under my elbows, pulling me up with him.

"I'm taking Ryan to the hospital," he told Beckett. She nodded at him without pausing in her reading of the Miranda rights to all three men.

"I don' nee' ta go ta t' hos'ital." Espo shushed me and pulled me out of the apartment. "Wha' a'out t' 'irl?" Espo glanced at me, trying to figure out what I was saying.

"The girl?" I nodded. "I'm sure Beckett'll take care of her," he said exasperatedly, pulling me down the hall. "Now let me take care of you." I breathed out through my nose, since huffing would hurt, and let him guide me down to the car.

"Hold this to the cut." Javier handed me a bunch of tissues as soon as the car doors were shut. I pressed it tenderly to my face.

"I t'ink yer shir's ruined," I told him. He shrugged without taking his eyes off the road.

"It's fine. I never wear it, anyways." I took off the jacket, though, just to make sure that didn't get ruined as well. "You're going to get cold," he said, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

"'M fine." Javier sighed and cranked up the heat. The rest of the trip was made in silence.

~/~

"Kee' tha' _thing_ away fro' 'e." I moved to the far side of the hospital room as the syringe bearing nurse made her way over to jab at my jaw.

"Mr. Ryan, it is vital that we numb your jaw before stitching it, especially since it's bruised!" The nurse made another lunge for me and I dodged.

"I HA'E nee'les!" I cried. "Can' you 'ust glue I' 'ogether, or somethin'?" The harried nurse looked over to Javier for help. I glared at him, daring to contradict me.

"Kev," he sighed from his position on one of the two chairs next to the bed. "Please just let her." I raised an eyebrow and shook my head. Did he really think that would work? He stood up and I watched nervously as he walked around behind me.

"Wha' are you doin'?" I asked, suspicion evident in my voice. When he didn't answer, I started to turn around until he wrapped a steel arm around my middle, trapping my arms to my sides.

"Relax," he murmured into my ear as the nurse approached with her needle. I shook my head and struggled against his arm, to no avail. He reached up with his other hand and clamped down on my forehead, pulling my head back against his shoulder, and holding it there.

"Nononononononononononono," I moaned, my pain forgotten as the nurse reached for my mouth to hold it shut as she inserted the syringe into my jaw. I let out a whimper, shaking as the nurse withdrew, only to come back with a larger needle, this one attached to thread.

"Javi, please." I felt him chuckle behind me.

"Relax," he said. "You won't even feel it."

He was wrong, in a way. I did feel it, it just didn't hurt. Almost like a strange tugging sensation on my face. But I still hated it. There was a _needle _going through my _skin._

As soon as the nurse was done, I jerked out of Javier's grip and collapsed into the chair. "I hate you," I told them both. Javier just ruffled my hair and sat down in the chair next to me. The nurse looked relieved that the ordeal was over.

"Doctor Bryant will be with you shortly," she told us. Javier smiled and nodded, and she left, still looking incredibly relieved.

"I've never seen a grown man so scared of needles," he teased. I glared at him. The bastard. Only he could have fun at my expense.

"You would too, if you had the experience that I did with them." Javier gave me an inquiring look and I sighed. "When I was 17, my appendix ruptured, so I had to go to the hospital. It took them seven tries to get the IV without my vein collapsing. And after the first three local anesthetics, the numbing agent stopped working. Do you know how much it hurts to have your vein collapse _six times?" _I demanded. He looked sheepish now.

"I'm sorry?" He offered meekly. I shook my head, already having forgiven him, but still wanting to make him feel bad for a while.The silence lasted until there was a knock on the door and the doctor walked in. He was a tall, thin, middle aged man with thinning black hair and dark brown eyes.

"Mr. Ryan?" He asked, looking at me. "You're x-rays show no signs of fracturing, so you're free to go home. Just make sure to be careful with your jaw. If your stitches pop, you'll need to come back in. And watch out for signs of infection." I nodded and took the sheet of paper he handed me labeled 'How to spot infection.' Genius, that was.

"Thank you, doctor," Javier said, standing up to shake his hand. I jumped up out of my seat and hurried to the door.

"Yes, thank you," I said quickly. "Come on, let's go." My last comment was addressed to Javier, who was taking an extremely long time to walk over to the door. I couldn't get out of the building fast enough. We had spent so long in the hospital that it was already dark. Beckett had called earlier to tell us to go home. We could discuss the incident in the morning.

"Kev, wait up, bro." Javier huffed up behind me.

"Sorry," I muttered. My jaw was starting to hurt again, and all I wanted to do was get back to Javier's place and fall asleep on his couch.

"You still wanna go by your place?" He asked once we were back in the car. I nodded. It would be nice to have some of my stuff. I leaned the unhurt side of my head against the window, and I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Javier was shaking me awake.

"We're here," he told me. "We're just gonna grab the basics then leave, alright? I don't wanna be here any longer than we've got to." I nodded, and we got out of the car. "Stay behind me," he muttered, pulling out his gun. I sighed at his overprotectiveness, but stayed behind him anyways. No sense in taking chances.

We were in and out in five minutes. All I packed were my toiletries, a few books, some extra money, and three changes of clothing. Javier didn't relax in the slightest until we were back in the car, where he let out a loud exhale and tucked his gun back into his shoulder holster.

"Let's go home," he said tiredly. I murmured my agreement as he started the car.


	4. In which Kevin Ryan gets

**So… I lost my flash drive, which had my life on it, and then I forgot to back it up before hand, so I lost everything. And then two weeks ago was dead week, except it wasn't dead at my school, and then we had exams. I've gotten 11 hours of sleep this entire week. And on top of that, I got a concussion last Monday, and then I only got one review on the last chapter, so it made me all depressed and stuff. **

**So yeah. That's why I haven't updated until now. **

**~/~**

**Chapter 4**

**In which Kevin gets a good nights sleep.**

~/~

"Yo," I jerked out of my light doze. We had been stuck in traffic for twenty or so minutes because of some accident involving a bus before I had fallen asleep. If the look on Javi's face was to go by as he put his phone to his ear, we had spent a bit more time stuck after that. "Beckett? Imma put you on speaker. Hold up." He fumbled with the keys on his cell phone for a moment before placing the device on the center console. "What do you got for us?"

"Alexa Volkoff will be fine. She has a concussion, but the doctors expect her to wake up soon," Beckett's voice filtered through the tiny speaker. "We can question her then. How are you holding up, Ryan?" I groaned in response in Javi chuckled.

"He threw a hissy fit when the nurse tried to sew him up," he told her. I glared at him.

"I did not throw a hissy fit!" I was pleased to discover that now that the swelling in my jaw was down and the ibuprofen I had gulped down was taking effect, I could speak properly. However, that was ruined by Beckett.

"You okay, honeymilk?" She asked teasingly. I growled and turned my head to stare out the window. Traffic was finally picking back up. "Anyways," Beckett continued after she and Espo had stopped laughing. "I'm about to interrogate the Irishman. He really is with the mafia and his name is Brandon O'Deorain." I snort and shake my head.

"Figures," I tell them. "O'Deorain means exiled person. He probably got kicked out of Ireland, and joined the mafia in New York. It's also most likely not his real name." Javi looked at me in surprise.

"Thanks, Ryan," Beckett sounded pleased. "I'll cross reference his face with anyone that's immigrated from there in the past few years." I grimaced.

"Better make it fifteen or twenty," I told her. "His accents pretty faded and European ones always take longer to fade than others." Javi looked impressed.

"How'd you know that?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I've got a really large Irish family. Not even my grans accent is completely gone." Javi nodded, turning into his apartment's garage.

"Alright, boys. You've done well today. Get some rest and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning," Beckett told us, a smile in her voice. "We'll fill you in when you come in."

"Oh, and be careful whose clothes you pick up from the floor in the morning, as well." I scowled down at the phone as Castle's voice filtered through it.

"Bro, really?" Javi all but growled at the phone before ending the call and silencing the laughter coming from the other end of the line. When the car was parked, he grabbed my bag and climbed out.

"I can carry that myself, you know," I told Javi, tired of indulging his overprotective streak. He ignored me, and walked to the elevator, leaving me to hurry after him.

"So, do you think we'll find out anything from our Irish friend?" He asked, once we were safely inside the building and out of the cold.

"Probably not," I replied. "He most likely doesn't know anything himself." He hummed in agreement and opened up his apartment.

~/~

Dinner was a quiet affair of half pepperoni, half pineapple pizza. The TV was on, but neither of us was really paying attention to the football game. We were both too tired.

"I think you should take the bedroom for now," Javi said suddenly. I gave him an odd look, dipping my crust in the garlic sauce.

"Why?" I asked. He shrugged and stared blankly at the TV screen.

"There no windows in there," he told me. "It'll be easier to defend, and I'll be out here in case someone tries to sneak in." I frowned at him, putting the crust down on my plate and turning towards him.

"But that would mean you were in a lot of danger." He nodded, still not looking at me.

"But you're a material witness. Your life is far more important at the moment." I shook my head angrily.

"Javi, we're in this 'till the wheels fall off, remember?" I hissed out. "I watch your back, and you watch mine. This whole thing is being blown way out of proportion." I could see he wasn't going to budge, so I changed tactics.

"Why don't we both share the room?" I asked. He looked at me sharply, silently telling me to go on. "That way we both have each other's backs and no one can take us out with a sniper." He frowned, thinking it over.

"There's only one bed," he pointed out. "And neither of us should be sleeping on the floor. We gotta be in top shape if we're to catch these bastards." I snorted.

"Bro, I've seen your bed. It's huge. I'm sure we could both fit rather comfortably on it." Javi still looked doubtful, but I could tell he was going to give in.

"Fine," he muttered, turning his attention to the game for the first time. I smiled in victory and picked up my crust, munching happily on the garlic covered bread.

"I'm going to bed," I groaned a little while later, having finished off my last pepperoni slice long ago.

"a'ight, bro," Javi muttered, eyes still riveted to the screen. I walked into Javi's bedroom, shrugging out of my shirt and searching for a suitable replacement and sweats in my bag. I normally slept shirtless, but I would feel weird in Javi's bed. I pulled out a dark blue shirt and black sweats, going into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. By the time I got back out, Javi was still nowhere to be seen.

_His bed is ridiculously comfortable,_ I thought as I sank into the made side of the mattress. _Smells good, too. Like Javi. _I immediately blocked that thought out of my head. I had had my fair share of boyfriends. I was bi, after all. But it wasn't something you broadcasted to the precinct and it definitely wasn't something you turned on your best friend and partner.

_But his bed does smell nice, _I allowed myself to think before drifting off into a dreamless sleep, worn out by the day's events.

A little while later, Javi came in, partially waking me up.

"You asleep, bro?" He whispered. I made an 'mmhm' sound and rolled onto my side, burrowing deeper into the covers. I noticed that Javi had decided to forego his shirt. Javi chuckled and climbed in on the other side of the bed.

"Night, Kev," he murmured, already drifting off.

"Nigh'" I mumbled, falling back into blissful sleep.

~/~

When I woke up in the morning, it was to a feeling of warmth and security. I made a contented noise and nestled sleepily into the warm chest I was resting against.

_Wait, _I thought. _Aren't I at Javi's? _I blushed as I started to wake up some more and realized that I was lying against his side with an arm slung over his chest and my head on his shoulder. His left hand had a grasp on my shoulder and his other arm was flung out across the bed. My blush grew until I was sure I was beet red and I tried to disentangle myself without waking him. Unfortunately, just as I slid from his grasp, his opened his eye and blinked blearily.

"Kev?" I don't know how, but my face had somehow gotten even redder. After a few moments, Javi noticed the position we were in and blushed. "Sorry, Kev. I forgot to tell you I tend to grab at things in my sleep. That's why there're so many pillows." I sat up and climbed out of the bed, trying to will my face back to its normal pasty hue.

"It's alright," I told him. In truth, I _had _been wondering about the ridiculous amount of soft, fluffy pillows that dominated his king size bed. Maybe that was the reason that last night was the best sleep I had gotten in a while. 

_Or maybe it was because you spent the night snuggled up against Javi, _that traitorous voice in the back of my head said snidely. I immediately shut that thought down. Yes, I knew my partner was damn attractive and if I let myself, I would probably developed some misguided crush on him, but he was my _partner _and I wasn't going to ruin that by coming out to him.

"What time is it?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. I glanced at the clock on his bedside table.

"4:43," I informed him. He jumped out of bed and stretched slowly. I turned my head away before he could see that way I stared at his back muscles rippling.

"Alright, you can take a shower first. Imma make some coffee." I nodded and shuffled slowly into the bathroom, my brain still fogged by sleep and the fact that I liked my partner a lot more than I should.

After my shower, I walked out to the smell of coffee and inhaled deeply.

"Espo, that smells heavenly," I called into the kitchen. He chuckled and grinned at me as I walked into the kitchen.

"How have you survived getting up this early all these years?" He asked me. "You're obviously not a morning person." I shrugged and sat down at the table.

"Lots and lots of coffee." Javi grinned again and set a mug down in front of me.

"Imma go hit the shower, and then we can leave." I mumbled an agreement in his direction and sipped at my caffeine loaded savior.

~/~

"How's your jaw, Ryan?" I smiled at Beckett as she walked into the room, the ever present Castle at her heel.

"It's better," I told her. "I took some ibuprofen before we left."

"So what did we find out on our Irishman?" Beckett smiled and pulled up a file, beckoning us over. Once again, I slid too far in my chair and Javi pulled me back.

"Turns out his name isn't actually Brandon O'Deorain, after all. You were right, Ryan." I grinned and looked more closely at the file.

"Brandon MacMillon?" Beckett nodded, scrolling down the file.

"He's wanted for 3 murder charges along with a slew of other lesser things like B&E and assault." Castle nodded, reading along.

"I guess he ran from Ireland, assumed a fake identity, and came here to join the mafia as a hit man," he said. Espo nodded, leaning over my shoulder to scroll back up the file. I fought down my blush as his arm slid along mine, and shifted slightly in my seat.

"Makes sense," he murmured. "You guys get anything outa him?" Castle snorted and Beckett shook her head.

"He lawyered up." I sighed.

"Well, we know that there's a price on me. He said as much at the apartment." Beckett nodded, closing down the screen.

"Yeah, our guys on the street said a bounty was posted as a free-for-all. They have no idea where it came from, though," she added as an afterthought. "The bounty states that further contact will be made once you're in possession." Javi groaned and sat back in his seat.

"I'm worried about you, bro," he admitted while Castle and Beckett argued over whether they should try and track down where the bounty came from. I grinned at him.

"Why" I asked, eyebrow rising. "I've got a big strong knight in shining armor mother henning over me." I laughed and punched his arm, ignoring the slight tingle that went up my hand at the contact. He snorted in amusement too, but seemed to concede the point.

"There's gotta be something more that we can do about Macmillon," I muttered. Javi shook his head.

"He's got a lawyer, so the best we can do is lock him up. We can't get nothin' outa him." I groaned and rubbed my eyes tiredly. I had slept well, but the frustration of this case was already taking its toll.

"This is a mess," he muttered. I nodded in agreement. Beckett's phone rang, and she snatched it up.

"Becket." She listened carefully to the other line and nodded, as we all watched on. "Okay, thanks," she said finally. "I'll send someone down." We all looked at her questioningly, and she grinned. "Alexa's awake," she told us.

"You want me and Ryan to go?" Javi asked. "That way the two of you can go try to uncover where the bounty came from." Beckett nodded and Castle grinned gleefully.

"This is brilliant!" He exclaimed, going off on some tangent about a new book.

"I'm tired of questioning people," I confided in Javi after Beckett and Castle had rushed out the elevator. He patted my arm and sighed.

"I know, bro, but going into the field is the last thing you need to be doing right now." I shook my head and growled, frustrated.

"Why didn't they just kill me when they caught me?" I asked. It didn't make sense. "Why put a bounty on me now?" Javi frowned.

"You're right," he said. "Why now?" I thought for a moment. It was almost as if they were…

"That's it!" I shouted, jumping out of my chair. "They're advertising." Javi still looked confused, so I elaborated.

"They're letting the criminal world know they're out there,' I told him excitedly. "If you have someone you need to be rid of, what better way than to send them to some obscure part of the world to be sold into slavery?" Javi nodded slowly, catching on.

"And they're so cocky about it because of the dirty cop. They think they'll never get caught with a mole inside the precinct." I picked up the phone and dialed Beckett's cell number.

"Beckett."

"Hey, the smugglers ring is advertising, that's why I got let go, and that's why there's a bounty on my head now." Beckett was a bit quicker on the uptake than Javi had been.

"It makes sense," she said after a moment of deliberation. We'll check it out while we're looking for the source." We said our goodbyes and hung up.

"Now let's go talk to Alexa," Javi said, grabbing his coat and making his way to the elevator.

~/~

I knocked on the hospital door, waiting for a 'come in' before opening it. Alexa was sitting on the bed, her head covered in a bandage.

"Are you the police?" She asked. Her accent was obviously Russian.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied. "We just need to ask you some questions about Kaci Collin." The soft smile that had graced her face at the sight of us immediately vanished, replaced by a sad look.

"Yes, the doctors did say you would be by," she commented. "Ask away." She gestured to the two seats next to her bed, and we sat down, pulling out our notepads.

"Was there anyone suspicious hanging around Kaci?" I asked. Alexa nodded.

"Yes, there was a man," she said. "Her boyfriend, I think but I did not like him." I nodded and wrote that down. "I think his name was Mikhail." Javi nodded and we both jotted it down.

"Is there anything else that seemed odd to you?" Javi asked. "Was Kaci acting strangely?" Alexa shook her head.

"No, nothing. She was perfectly normal except for that Mikhail guy."

"Can you describe him for us?" I asked, holding my pen over the paper. Alexa nodded.

"He was tall and burly," she started. "About six foot five or so. He had blue eyes and a buzz cut, I believe they are called." She paused for a moment. "Oh! And he had this little scar at the corner of his left eye. I'm afraid that's all I have." I nodded and stood up.

"I'll be right back," I told Javi. "Nature calls." Javi nodded and turned back to Alexa, intent on asking her a few more questions. I stepped out of the door, and promptly realized that I had no idea where the bathrooms were. After asking a helpful nurse, I found them and quietly slipped inside, bumping into someone. I reached out to study myself on the doorjamb and looked up.

"Sorry, bro." But I froze at the sight of the man's face. Buzz cut. Blue eyes. Scar on the corner of his left eye. I backed up, my eyes widening, but hit the door. _When had that closed? _I wondered.

"We've been looking for you," the man said in a thick Russian accent before procuring a cloth and draping it over my face.

My last thought before whatever chemical that was on the cloth forced me into unconsciousness was _Alexa has a Russian accent, too._

~/~

**Oh, cliffhangers. How everyone but the author hates them. **

**Sorry.**

**On another note, I want to know more about my readers! Where are you guys from? What do you do in your free time besides sift through fanfiction? Acceptable answers are read books, cook, practice magic, eat raw cookie dough, and the likes. Each reviewer gets an imaginary Kevin plushy! **


	5. In which Kevin is mortified

**New chapter time! Yay! I liked the reviews, guys. You make my day. I'm going to respond to them right after posting this.**

**Chapter 5**

**In which Kevin is mortified.**

**~/~**

_My head hurts, _was the first thought that went through my mind when I regained consciousness. My jaw was throbbing, as well. I thought a stitch had popped, but I couldn't be sure without a mirror. I groaned and lifted my head up from where I was laying very uncomfortably. 

"Hello?" I rasped out, wincing at the sound of my voice. I was in a dark, empty room with no windows. "Hello?" I called out again. _What had happened? _

I quickly found my answer as I licked my lips to get some moisture back into them, grimacing at the taste of Chloroform. The day came rushing back to me, and I groaned, resting my head back down on the floor.

"Oh, god. Javi," I whimpered into the carpet. What if they had done something to him, as well? I allowed myself to freak out for a few minutes before I heard the tumblers clicking open in the door's lock. The door opened, and I lifted my head to see Mikhail, carrying a bag slung over one shoulder.

"Oh, good, you are awake," he said with a toothy smile that wasn't in the least bit pleasant.

"What'd you do with Javi?" I managed to groan out, sitting up and glaring at the large man.

"Oh, your partner?" Mikhail smirked. "Absolutely nothing. You are the only one that my employer wants. It's too risky to take one detective, let alone two." My shoulders slumped in relief. Javi was safe.

"Do not look so happy, boy," Mikhail said, noticing my obvious relief. "I'm going to have quite a bit of fun with you. You and that partner have caused me quite a bit of trouble." I eyed him suspiciously.

"What kind of fun?" I asked, not able to help myself. Mikhail grinned and reached into the bag.

"First, I must make sure you do not fight back." And with that, he pulled out a syringe filled with a green liquid. I gulped, inching away from the large needle.

"Now, now," Mikhail murmured walking towards me and griping my hair. I struggled against him, but he was bigger and stronger than me, and he eventually got the needle into my neck. I whimpered in protest and held still, trying not to move the needle.

The injection felt like fire spreading slowly through my veins, expanding to the tips of my toes before it dulled off into a lethargic state that I later thought resembled roofies.

"Wha?" I mumbled. I would've sunk down to the floor, if not for Mikhail strong hold on my hair. My vision went blurry, and all I could hear was the sound of a zipper.

"Suck," came the command, before something hot, hard, and unwelcome forced its way into my mouth and down my throat. I chocked and gasped, drawing back.

"Keep your mouth on me, boy, or I will blow your brains out." Dimly, I felt tears streaking down my face, and heard a pathetic 'no' come out of my mouth, but soon I was being choked again and I let Mikhail fuck my mouth, sobbing around his throbbing length. His grunts got increasingly louder, and after a particularly loud one, the taste of bitter salt filled my mouth, and I gagged as he shoved me to the ground, trying to get his essence out of my mouth as soon as possible.

"That was nice, boy," Mikhail growled out. I heard him zip up his pants and saw his fuzzy figure approach me.

"Nononononononononononononono." It came as a constant stream out of my mouth as he drew back his boot to kick me. The first blow landed in my stomach, the second on my ribs, and the third on my head. I curled in on myself in a vain attempt to ward off the blows, but they kept raining down on me until the door finally opened.

"Mikhail, what are you doing?" A new voice said, causing Mikhail to stop and turn around. "You know the boss would rather him be in one piece when we transport him." I risked uncurling myself to blink wearily up at the man in the door. I couldn't make him out at all; my eyes couldn't seem to focus on him. The man walked over to me, and yanked me up off the ground, making me whimper again from the pain radiating from my abused body.

"Thomas, wait," Mikhail said. "Just let me do one more thing, just to see what he knows." Tomas waited for Mikhail to speak further.

"Whipping seems to have a large effect without permanently maiming someone." Thomas hesitated before I saw the blurry figure in front of me nodded. I struggled weakly as my shirt was ripped from me, and I was forced to lean against the wall, bracing my bruised arms against it.

The first crack of what I could only assume was a belt was like lightning flashing down my back. A cry escaped my lips and my screams only escalated. I knew that I later wouldn't remember what I had sobbed out in between lashes, but I was pretty sure that I hadn't given away any information about the case. When Mikhail was done, I sank to the floor again, a quivering mess of bruised and bloodied skin. I was sure that I had a concussion and at least one broken rib.

Both men left the room, arguing about something, and I drifted off into blissful unconsciousness.

~/~

The next thing I heard was the sound of the door breaking in.

"Oh, mi Corazon_," _a hoarse voice whispered. "Lo siento no he tenido aquí antes. Oh, dios. Bebé, lo siento mucho." I lifted my head from my curled up position on the floor. My eyesight was a little bit better, so I could dimly make out a familiar figure standing in the doorway.

"Javi?" I whispered, barely able to believe that the figure I saw in the doorway was really him.

"Yeah, Kev, I'm here," he murmured, rushing over to my side and kneeling down next to me. "Oh, dios. What did they do to you, Corazon?" I shook my head, grimacing when even that small amount of movement caused my head to swim.

"They drugged me," I told him, voice weak. "I think they wanted information and then they were going to send me to their employer." I felt an arm slide around my back, catching on the lashes and another hooking under my knees.

"Alright, let's get you out of here." He hoisted me up against his chest and I curled against it, suddenly feeling very cold.

"How'd you guys find me?" I murmured. Javi's arms tightened around me for a moment and then he spoke, walking out the door.

"I gave some of the nurses a description of Mikhail for them to keep an eye out for, in case they came after Alexa," he started. "One of the nurses looked startled; said she'd recognized him. He had passed by a minute beforehand. He was supposedly transporting a patient to another hospital. So, we put two and two together once we figured out you were missing, and we found the ambulance they had taken. It was abandoned in an alley." By the time he had gotten that far, we had walked out of the building and almost straight into Lanie.

"Oh, sweetie," she murmured, pressing a cool hand to my bruised face. "Oh, god." She jerked her hand away suddenly.

"What is it?" Javi asked. I vaguely saw Lanie shake her head and gesture with one hand to a vague flat surface a bit further on. Javi walked over and carefully laid me down on what felt like a gurney. I shivered from the lack of warmth, it was winter after all.

"I need to talk to Ryan," Lanie told him. When he didn't move from my side, I assume she glared at him and I heard a stern "ALONE." Javi shuffled away, and I felt his absence almost immediately. If Lanie hadn't been there as well, I might have panicked.

"Ryan," she started, touching the corner of my mouth. I flinched away, the abrasions and cuts from when Mikhail forced himself on my itching in discomfort. She sighed and dropped her hand. "These are the classic signs for, you know-" I stopped her before she could finish.

"Yes, I know, Lanie." She rested her hand on my shoulder and I leaned into it gratefully. "It happened, and I would rather forget that it did." I watched her nod and beckon Javi back over to the gurney.

"He's got a concussion, two broken ribs, lash marks from a belt all up and down his back, and multiple cuts and bruises," she told the both of us after a thorough examination. "I don't know what they gave him, but I'm going to recommend blood tests when we get to the hospital." I saw Javi nod, and he helped load me into the back of an ambulance.

"Can I ride with you guys?" Javi asked. I missed the last part of the exchange between them, but apparently Javi had gotten her permission, because he climbed into the back of the ambulance with me and held onto my hand as the drugs from the IV Lanie put in me while I wasn't paying attention lulled me into unconsciousness.

~/~

When I next woke, it was to a steady beeping noise and a heavy weight draped over my legs. I groaned and blinked up at the ceiling. _That's right, Javi found me, _I thought. Looking down at my legs I smiled as Javi's face came into view. He had his head on one leg and his arm draped across both.

"He's been here for almost a day," Lanie's voice came from the right. "If I were you, I wouldn't wake him up. He must've driven himself half mad with worry by now." I smile down at the sleeping figure and nodded, barely resisting the temptation to reach down and stroke his head.

"Does he know?" I asked, suddenly remembering about the one aspect about my kidnapping I desperately didn't want him to know about. Lani's face tightened, and she nodded.

"He saw when they brought the rape kit in," she told me. I turned my face away, wondering what Javi must think of me. Lanie sat beside me on the other side of the bed to Javi.

"Sweetie, he doesn't blame you," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "If anything, he blames himself for letting you out of his sight. He blames that bastard who did this to you as well. He stormed into the interrogation room and had to be restrained my five people in order to not beat the shit out of him." I looked at her, confused.

"But it wasn't his fault," I protested. She shook her head.

"That's not how he sees it," she informed me. "It's his job to protect you, and, in his point of view, he failed." I shook my head and then remembered something important.

"The girl, Alexa. She's part of this." Lanie smiled and patted the hand which held the IV. I grimaced at it and placed it under the blanket.

"Beckett's already arrested her." I nodded. I knew she would put two and two together quickly.

"So, what happened after they found the ambulance?" Lanie grinned.

"We got lucky," she said. "A passerby happened to spot the car pealing out of the alley, and gave us a make, model, and partial." I shook my head in wonderment.

"If not for that, you guys might have never found me." Lanie smiled and shook her head again.

"Javi would've kept looking until the end of time itself." I looked at her, puzzled.

"Why would he do that?" Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Lord, almighty!" She cried. "I am tired of you two dancing around each other. You both are madly in love, why can't you just admit it?" I jerked back, startle.

"Wha-? No," I protested. "I don't feel that way, and he certainly doesn't, either." She gave me a pitying look.

"Do you know what he said to you when he found you?" She asked. "I was there, behind him. I heard the whole thing." I nodded hesitantly. "He said 'Oh, my heart. I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner. Baby, I'm so sorry." I snorted, even though it sent my heart racing and my mind whirling.

"My heart? You must have mistranslated." She shook her head.

"It's a term of endearment, Kevin," she informed me. He's been head over heels in love with you for years now, and you have been as well. You just don't seem to realize it." I shook my head and glared at her.

"No way in _hell," _I told her. "Javier's straight and there's nothing you can say that will convince me otherwise." Lanie opened her mouth like she was about to argue with me, but Javi stirred on my legs and blinked sleepily at my face.

"Kev?" He mumbled. I shrank back and turned my head away, not wanting to see the look of disgust on his face as he remembered what I allowed Mikhail to do to me. A thumb stroked my knee and Javi's face came into my line of vision. "What's wrong?" An annoyed huff came from Lanie and I turned to look at her; Javi kept his eyes on me.

"Ryan's busy being a baby, Espo," she told him. I flushed and glared at her again. "He thinks his IV's going to jump out and eat him." I blinked in surprise. She wasn't going to say anything to Javi about our conversation? The astonishment must have shown on my face because Javi eyed me suspiciously and Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Your IV can't hurt you," Javi said, pulling out my hand from underneath the blanket and putting it in front of my face. I began to feel a bit queasy. "See? It's already in?"

"Yeah, but it's _in _me," I muttered, tugging the hand back and pulling the covers over it once more. Javi chuckled and patted my knee, which his hand was still resting on. Lanie glanced at the hand pointedly and smiled knowingly. I barely resisted the urge to stick my tongue out like a five year old.

"How are you feeling?" Javi asked, ignoring the silent exchange between Lanie and I. I shrugged and moved my shoulders around a bit.

"I can feel the pain, but it's like it's not important," I told him. He nodded.

"Lanie said that would happen." I sighed and looked around at the white walls.

"When can I get out of here?" I asked petulantly. Lanie laughed at me, and even Javi let out a relieved sort of smile, now that I was seemingly back to my old self.

"When the doctor clears you," he said, lifting up the remote on the bedside, and pressing a button.

I sighed in relief as soon as the doctor waked into the room. There was only too much of Javi's intense stares and Lanie's knowing smirks one could take before they went criminally insane.

"Detective Ryan?" She asked. I nodded. "How are you feeling?" I shrugged and told her the same thing I had told Javi.

"Okay, well we can release you into someone's care," she told me. "Otherwise, you have to stay here under 24-hour guard." I groaned and rubbed my not blackened eye.

"And whose orders are these?" I asked tiredly. The doctor's smile was pitying.

"The captains." _So no way to circumvent that, _I thought, annoyed. Javi cleared his throat and the doctor gave him a questioning look.

"He's been staying with me, so he already has a place at my apartment," he told her. I sank back into the bed, nervous about sharing an apartment with the man after my newfound crush on him. He apparently took my movement for one that was frightened, and quickly added. "But if you don't, I understand." I shook my head and gripped his hand where it still rested on my leg.

"I would like that," I told him, still not looking at him. "Thanks." I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye, and he squeezed my hand gently. The doctor smiled as well.

"Alright, but I don't want any activity from you," she told me, her voice stern. "You are to stay in bed for the next three days." I nodded, listening to her rattle off what I needed to be eating, and how many times a day I should take my pain pills.

"Thank you, doctor," Lanie said when she was finished. "I'll check in on them every now and then to make sure Javi hasn't killed him." The doctor grinned and squeezed Lanie's shoulder.

"That's a good idea, Lanie. Now, we need to set up a follow-up appointment just to make sure that your ribs are healing fine and that there's no lasting brain damage." I nodded, and let Javi take care of the rest for me.

~/~

Javi had to help me in and out of the car, and the entire elevator ride up, I had to lean on him for support. I curled into the gentle arm around my waist and tried to forget that it was just Javi trying to help his wounded and drug-addled partner. When we got up to the apartment, he half-carried me into the room, and laid me down on the bed.

"Stay here," he told me, as if I were capable of going anywhere else. "I'm going to go get some water for your pills." I nodded, and watched him leave, sinking into the multitude of pillows surrounding me. The bed still smelled like that soothing scent of cinnamon and vanilla, and I turned my head and nuzzled a pillow.

"Here you go bro." Javi returned with the water and I, with his assistance, sat up enough to drink it and swallow the two pills. He handed to me.

"Thanks, Javi," I murmured, smiling up at him. He smiled back and patted my head.

"You're welcome. Now go to sleep. I'll be out in the living room if you need me." I frowned. It was already eleven at night, but shrugged it off. Javi would go to bed whenever he wanted to. Not a moment sooner, nor a moment later.

"'kay," I murmured, eyes already drifting shut. The weight from Javi's body left the bed, and I frowned in disappointment before falling into a deep sleep.

My dreams were horrible, of Mikhail taking it even further, beating me into a near unconscious state before ripping off my clothing and raping me brutally. I must have cried out in my sleep, because a gentle hand shook me awake. I started, wincing at the sudden, painful movement and Javi's face appeared in front of my eyes.

"Kev, it's alright," he murmured. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare." I let him reach out and pull me against his chest, curling into his warmth. We sat there for a few minutes, my short, wretched sobs slowly fading into deep, even breathing. Javi laid me back down on the bed and stroked the hair out of my face.

"Go back to sleep," he murmured. I glanced over at his unmade side of the bed and sighed.

"Only if you come sleep here, too." He scowled, but relented. I curled up against him in the same position I had found us in that first night days ago. "Helps me sleep," I muttered, eyes falling shut again. A tentative hand twined into my hair, and I drifted off, at peace for the moment.

~/~


	6. In which Javi confesses

**I know. It's a tiny chapter. but this is all I had time for and I honestly don't know what the heck happened here. It kind of... Got taken over. By a ghost. Or an alien. Yeah, I'll go with that one.**

**~/~**

A loud, piercing noise was the first thing I heard when I woke up the next morning.

"Nuh," I groaned out. "Javi, I's your phone." I opened my eyes and watched blearily as the hand not tangled in my hair reached out and slapped along the nightstand until it found the phone.

"Esposito," Javi answered, holding the phone up to his ear. How he could sound so awake at five in the morning, I would never know.

"Whoissit?" I mumbled tiredly.

"Beckett," he answered. "No, that was Ryan… Yeah, he's fine." I sighed and closed my eyes again, letting myself revel in the warmth and comfort brought on by laying half on top of Javi.

"Bro, wake up." A finger prodded an uninjured portion of my face and I groaned, cracking an eyelid open.

"Wha?" I mumbled. _Why on earth is he waking me up? _I thought, annoyed. _Surely work can wait until I can actually move from the bed. _

"Neither of us are going into work today," he told me, still sounding perfectly awake. "I'm on permanent guard duty, and you're on bed rest. That means _no moving. _Got it?" The hand in my hair shifted slightly and I hummed my agreement.

"That's nice," I said. "Sleep, now." I closed my eyes again, but felt Javi shift underneath my cheek.

"Kev, I gotta get up," he said. I thought he sounded regretful, but it was probably just wishful thinking on my part. "I forgot to check the locks on the windows, and I'm hungry." I sighed and shifted slowly away from him, turning to lie on my stomach. I winced as my ribs twinged and then sank into the mattress.

"You need more meds, bro?" He asked, noticing my flinch. I shook my head against the sheets.

"It can wait till I wake up," I muttered, and promptly fell back asleep as Javi exited the bedroom.

~/~

"Kev, Kevin, wake up." A hand was shaking my shoulder gently. I swatted it away and buried my face back into the bed sheets.

"Corazon, you've got to wake up now." The hand came back, more insistently this time, but still gentle.

"No," I growled. "'M tired." Javi sat down on the bed with a sigh.

"I got Jenny to come see you," he informed me. I lifted my head from the covers and blinked at him. _He did what?_

"Why?" I asked stupidly. He smiled down at me, obviously glad that he had caught my attention.

"Cause I thought you could use a friend besides me." I smiled back up at him.

"Thanks."

"Oh, Kev! I was so worried! Beckett wouldn't tell me what happened since we're not next of kin anymore and I thought the worst had happened. I'm so glad you're alright." A blonde blur flew across the room, and landed in the bad next to me. "What happened?" She asked, letting Javi slide past so that he could leave. I thought about asking him to stay, but I was sure I could handle Jenny on my own.

"What do you want to know?" I asked between clenched teeth, turning around onto my back.

"Everything," she replied. "Don't hold _anything _back." I sighed and told her the whole story of my kidnapping, rescue, and realization that I liked my partner a lot more than I should.

"And if I told him, it would just make things awkward between us. You can't have an awkward detective partnership." Jenny made a soothing noise and brushed some of my hair off of my forehead.

"I'm sure that it wouldn't make things awkward," she told me. "I mean, he was obviously hell-bent on finding you and he even cuddled with you last night. He could feel the same way." I snorted.

"Fat chance. Javi's straighter than an arrow." Jenny smirked.

"Really? Because I know for a fact that Javi had a boyfriend in his twenties." I looked up at her, my mouth hanging open in shock.

"W-what?" I spluttered. Jenny nodded, still grinning like a hyena.

"Yeah, he was dating my cousin." I shook my head in disbelief.

"This is ridiculous," I said. Not that I didn't believe her, but that Javi could actually be gay or even bisexual. Jenny laughed at my expression.

"Oh, Kevin, you clueless boy." I glared at her until she stopped chuckling.

"How on earth am I clueless?" I asked. She patted my hand gently.

"Lanie called, and I agree with her. The two of you have been head over heels in love with each other for years. Kiss the poor guy, already." I shook my head in amazement at my ex-fiancé.

"I'm not promising," I told her, giving into her pitiful wounded puppy look. "But I will try to talk to him about it." Jenny beamed, elated that I had at least considered it.

"Thank you!" She squealed, throwing her arms around me and squeezing. I cried out as pain shot through my ribs and the lash marks. Jenny let go and held her hands in the air.

"Oh, geez, Kev," she gasped. "I'm so sorry. I forgot. I managed to smile at her through the pain.

"It's okay. It was an accident." She shook her head frantically.

"No, no," she said. "Let me make it up to you. When you and Javier finally hook up, we can go on a double date with my new beau. My treat." I laughed, even though it hurt.

"You certainly move fast, huh?" She smiled and nodded, a dreamy gaze stealing over her features.

"He's so sweet, though. I think you'd really like him." I listened for a while as she prattled on about 'Thompson', who she had reconnected with just a few days ago from high school. They had gone on one date, and immediately became an item.

"Kev?" Javi opened the door, smiling lightly at me and Jenny. "Time to take your medicine." Jenny sighed and got up.

"That's my cue to leave, dear," she told me, reaching out to pat my head. "Remember what I said about that double date." I choked on the water Javi had handed to me and glared at her. She smirked and winked, and then she was gone.

"What was that about?" Javi asked, glancing between me and the still open door.

"No clue," I lied, shrugging and downing the rest of my pills. He gave me a doubtful look but seemed to accept that I wasn't going to say anything more on the matter.

"Beckett called," he told me instead, sitting down in Jenny's vacated seat. "Said they didn't get much from Mikhail." I shuddered and squeezed my eyes shut at the name. Javi apparently noticed my reaction and reached out to grab my hand.

"Oh, Corazon," he murmured. "I'm so sorry, I forgot." I opened my eyes and forced a smile at his concerned face.

"It's fine." I set my glass down at the table and frowned, thinking of something.

"Javi?" I asked. He looked at me questioningly. "Why do you call me that?" Javi looked shocked.

"What do I call you?" He asked; face getting more and more confused by the second.

"Corazon," I informed him. "Lanie said it means 'heart', but I think she's mistaken." Javi's eyes seemed to darken and a haunted look spread across his features, quickly followed by determination.

"She wasn't wrong." I gulped.

"Uh- what did you say?" He smiled at me, but it was slightly sad.

"I said, she wasn't wrong. Corazon means heart." I frowned, unable to wrap my mind around the fact that Javi was calling me 'heart.'

"Why.. Do you call me that?" I asked him. He laughed darkly. I didn't like the sound. It wasn't the Javi I knew.

"Because you are my heart, Kevin. If something happened to you, I would die." My eyes widened even further as I stared at him. He smiled bitterly and got up to leave.

"W-wait." I sat up to quickly, reaching for his arm, and gasped, falling to the side in pain. A warm arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me back onto the bed.

"Oh, Corazon," A soft voice muttered in my ear. "Go to sleep. I won't be here when you wake up." I shook my head, even more confused. I could feel weariness creeping back even though I had just woken up, and within a few seconds, I was falling asleep.

"Javi?" I whispered. Warm lips pressed against my forehead.

"Shhhh." I shook my head again, trying to clear it.

"You drugged me," I mumbled. It was the last thing that I remember before falling back into a drug induced sleep.

~/~

**Um... Don't hate me? Or review about how much you hate me? Either one works.**


	7. In which Kevin goes back home

**I love the responses I got from you guys! I'm glad none of you truly hate me for the ending to the last chapter, and I tried not to make you wait too long.**

**Jax and CJ- Thanks for the reviews! I tried to get the update out as quick as humanly possible.**

**Warning- Slight sexytime in this chapter.**

**So… It was kind of Wednesday night! Still not midnight!**

~/~

"Let me the fuck go!" I cried, ignoring the pain running through my body as I struggled against Castle. Waking up had not been pleasant.

I had woken up to a dimly lit, unfamiliar room, and let the news that Javi had drugged me run through my system. Castles daughter had leaned over me and told me that I needed to eat something, and that had been the beginning of my freak out.

"Kevin, come on, be reasonable," he pleaded, finally managing to hold me down.

"Be reasonable?" I raged. "What the goddamn fuck is going on here?" Castle sighed and cautiously let go of my arms, waiting for me to try and jump up again.

"It was my idea," sitting on the edge of the bed. I snorted. Not like I couldn't have figured that one out on my own.

"There's obviously a leak in the police force, so we had to move you because everyone knew where you were staying by then. It's not like it was a well-kept secret." I nodded slowly. That part made some sense.

"But why did Esposito feel the need to _drug _me?" I asked. Castle grimaced and had the decency to look to the side.

"He didn't," he told me. "He was actually very much against the whole thing. But it was the only way that anyone could see any way for us to get you out of there quickly and discretely." I growled in annoyance and he shifted further away from me.

"No one thought to just ask if I would go along nicely?" Castle studied me for a long moment.

"Would you have?" I thought about it for a moment, trying to sort out my confused feelings.

"No, I wouldn't have," I said, confirming the other man's suspicions.

"Exactly." I sighed and sank back into the bed that was nowhere near as comfortable as Javi's.

"I suppose Javier won't be coming for any visits either." Castle gave me a sympathetic look.

"I doubt it. He's very determined to solve this case." I scowled and picked up the plate of PB&J Alexa had left on the bedside table.

"Go away," I growled through a mouthful of stickiness when Castle still had yet to leave. He jumped up and shuffled out the door, obviously glad to be out of my murderous sight.

~/~

A few hours later, I stumbled out into the living, giving Castle and Alexa an evil eye.

"What exactly is keeping me here?" I asked. Alexa smiled sweetly.

"We are." I snorted for the second time that day.

"No offense, but you guys aren't exactly Jackie Chan." Alexa beamed at me and guided me over to the couch, forcing me to sit.

"No, but you're injured and I've taken karate all my life." I scowled up at the teen and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I could still take you," I told her. She patted my shoulder and sat down next to me, flipping on the television.

"I'm sure you could." I rolled my eyes at the teen and turned my glare to Castle.

"Anything new?" I growled. Castle smiled sheepishly.

"We are this close," he said, holding up his fingers so that they were almost touching, "to taking down the smuggling ring. We know who and where they are, so it should be a cinch…"

"I feel a but coming on," I informed him. He fidgeted in his seat.

"We still don't know who the leak is. We have to wait before we can take them down." I sighed and ran a hand down my face, ignoring the dull pain as it dragged over the stiches on my jaw bone.

"I'm ready for this mess to me done with," I muttered. Alexa reached over and patted my shoulder.

"I'm sure it'll sort itself out soon enough," she told me. We watched an episode of Being Human in companionable silence until the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Castle said, moving over to peak through the eyehole. He opened the door with a flourish.

"After you, milady." Beckett mock frowned and walked through the door as the writer beckoned her in. I glanced over her shoulder hopefully. Nope, no Javi. Beckett noticed my searching gaze and smiled sadly at me.

"He does want to see you, Ryan," she told me. "He's just a bit confused right now." I sighed.

"I'm tired of confused," I muttered. "I just want my life back to normal, with maybe a few noticeable differences." _Such as falling asleep in Javi's bed every night. _Beckett seemed to get the unspoken words and smiled at me.

"He does love you, you know." I nodded, letting go of all belief that she and Castle were oblivious to Javi's and mine attraction.

"I know that, but I can't help but feel a bit insecure about it." She sat down in between me and Alexa and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Uh… Anyone want juice?" Alexa rolled her eyes and got up to get the aforementioned juice, as her father was more than a bit too lazy.

"The reason he can't come see you is because he has to maintain the pretense that you're still at his apartment." I stiffened, and Beckett glanced at me in surprise.

"That means that he's in danger." Beckett's hand came up to my shoulder again.

"Kevin, he can take care of himself." I shook off her hand and jumped to my feet.

"I don't care if I'm a witness in this, you can't endanger him just because you think I'm going to get attacked! It's better if I'm over there to help!" I hissed at her.

"It's what he wanted, Kevin," she told me, standing up as well. "We all agree with his choice. You can't leave this apartment until we get this mess sorted out." I growled, but sat down, knowing I had no way out of the situation. Three against one weren't very good odds for an injured detective.

"I hate all of you, just for the record." Alexa reached over to hand me that juice. "Except for you," I amended. "You gave me juice." She smiled sweetly and flounced off to her room.

~/~

I turned over and looked at the clock. 1:52 a.m.. I sighed. I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep. That was, unless Castle drugged me again. I rolled over onto my stomach and cursed Javi and his stupid comfortable, good smelling bed. I lay awake for a few more minutes before standing up and moving over to the window.

_Hm… A fire escape. _I grinned, pocketed some cash and threw on a shirt before opening the window and climbing out. I was going to go see Javi and demand to know what the fuck he thought he was doing.

I hailed a taxi and thanked god that no one asked questions in this city as we sped around the lamp lit streets. Javi's apartment building was tall and imposing, and I suddenly wished I had brought my gun in case someone had already attacked my stubborn partner. By the time I got to his door, I was stiff with anxiety, and I couldn't stop imagining all the scenarios running through my head.

The door slowly opened and a head peeked out, staring at me in shock before I was grabbed by the shirt and hauled through the door.

"Kevin, what the hell are you doing here?" Javi growled. All thoughts of yelling at him fled from my mind, and I threw my arms around him, clinging tightly to his chest.

"You sent me away," I mumbled. Hands came up and around my back and one slid into my hair, stroking soothingly.

"Corazon, I did it for your safety. You shouldn't be here." I clenched my hands around his shirt.

"Y-y-you s-sent me aw-way." I cringed at my stuttering, and Javi hugged me tighter.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into my hair. "C'mon." He walked backwards until we fell onto the couch, and he just held me there against him, stroking my hair. "I'm so sorry."

"You better be," I said into his neck. I felt a smile against my hair and we sat there for a few minutes longer.

"You really shouldn't be here, though." I lifted my head to stare wide-eyed at him.

"Please don't make me leave." His fingers tightened momentarily before going back to the soothing stroking.

"I won't," he told me, leaning in to press a kiss against my forehead. "I promise."

"Thank you." I buried my face into his neck again and sighed.

"Corazon?" Javi's voice rumbled through his chest.

"Mmm?" I blinked sleepily up at him, enjoying the tug of fingers in my hair.

"You really need a shower." I snorted and smacked his chest.

"Thanks, Javi." He smiled at me again, and his arms fell from my hair and waist.

"You can use my shower. Go on." I sighed and got up from his lap. I almost turned around and asked if he wanted to join me, but I didn't want him to get rid of me again.

~/~

"Yeah, great job you did watching him," Javi's voice came from the living room. "He's fine. Doesn't seem to be in any pain at the moment." I stepped around the corner and smiled.

"Hey," I murmured, sitting on the couch next to him. He turned to smile at me as whoever was on the other end of the phone continued to drop, but a dark look entered his eye when he caught sight of me.

"Castle, I gotta go. Just bring his stuff over tomorrow." He snapped the phone shut and set it down on the table before turning back to me.

"Javi, what is it?" He knelt down in front of me and ran his fingers lightly down my bruised, shirtless chest.

"¡Oh, corazón, cada vez que te miro, todo lo que quiero hacer es establecer que en mi cama, abrir con mi lengua, y os tomaré hasta que no se puede ver con claridad. Pero entonces veo a ellos-" His voice hitched in his throat and his hands slid around my back, tracing the lash marks there. "Y yo no podía soportar que me causó más dolor. Quiero envolver mis manos alrededor de la garganta ese hijo de puta y apriete hasta que la vida se drene de sus ojos por lo que hizo a usted, Kevin." I shifted uncomfortably on the couch as I felt the sweat pants I was wearing grow tight.

"Javi, I don't know what you just said, but it sounded fucking hot," I panted out. He groaned and rested a hand on my knee.

"Oh, corazon," he murmured against the cloth. "You have no idea what you do to me.

"I think I understand a bit," I informed him in a strained voice. He glanced up at me, and then down at my lap, a smile playing across his lips.

"Mmm, I think you do." A hand cupped the bulge in my sweat pants and I whimpered, hips bucking against Javi's firm palm.

"Wh- Javi?" The hand not currently rubbing firm circles into my hardening flesh slid down my side in a comforting manner before pulling down the waistband of my pants.

"Shh, it's alright, babe." I cried out and shuddered as he leaned in to kiss at the exposed head of my cock, his hand pulling down the elastic band until it reached the middle of my thighs. His tongue lapped out to taste the bit of pre-come that leaked out at the erotic sight, and I rested my head against the top of the couch, eyes squeezing shut.

"Javi, I reaaAAH!" I bit down on my lip to stop another moan from escaping as he took the head into his mouth, sucking lightly at the tip.

"Yes?" He inquired, pulling back. I opened my eyes and stared down at him.

"Nothing," I squeaked. He gave me his 'that's what I thought' look and leaned down to take my member all the way into his mouth, not stopping until his nose was buried in the hair at my base.

"Oh, god," I whispered, feeling my cock hit the back of his throat. He chose that moment to suck. Hard. I cried out again against my will and my hips bucked wildly. Hands came up to hold them down against the couch, and Javi's head bobbed up and down on my engorged flesh.

Reaching down with one hand, I scrabbled at his shoulder, the other hand clenching a pillow beside me. He let go of my right hip and reached down to tug at my balls, and an electric shock of pleasure ran through me.

"Javi, I-I'm gonna-" He took me even deeper, if possible and I felt him smile softly around my cock as my world whited out. I threw my head back and screamed, babbling nonsense. Javi continued to suck on my softening cock, sending sharp bursts of aftershocks through me.

"You okay?" He asked huskily after one last lick at the head of my cock. I nodded, sinking limply into his couch.

"I think so," I whispered shakily. "Do you want me-?" He sat up next to me, pulling me toward him to rest against his chest.

"Don't worry about it, babe." I wanted to protest, but I was ridiculously sleepy, and wanted nothing more than to curl up on his bed and sleep for a decade.

"Alright, can we go to bed, then?" I asked hopefully. He smiled down at me and pressed warm lips against mine. I let out another throaty whimper and opened my mouth, allowing his tongue to find and stroke all the sensitive parts of my mouth.

"Of course," he whispered when he pulled away.

~/~

**So I hope it was worth it… First slashy scene EVER. If you want translations, leave a review or PM me. Goodnight!**


	8. In which Javi is cheesy

I really wanted to put a BAMF Kevin in this chapter, but had to refrain.

Sorry for taking so long with this. A lot of crap has been happening with me right now, but when I saw that there were no new Castle episodes, I was like :O. Must… Work… On… Over my head… So, yeah. Here you go.

~/~

_I was in that dark room again. The one where Mikhail beat me and molested me. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear Mikhail laughing in the distance. It was cold and cruel and made me curl up into a ball. Where was Javi? I called out his name and shivered when the laughter increased._

_"He will not be coming for you, pretty boy." I shuddered at the menace in Mikhail's voice, and found that I could see again. I looked up, expecting the interior of the room, but what I saw made me cry out as if I was being beaten again._

_Javi was chained to the wall in front of me, blood running down his body from a dark gash severing his throat._

_"He will not save you."_ I woke up with a gasp, my hands scrambling across the bed, looking for Javi. He wasn't there. A sob tore from my throat and I hurled myself out of the bed.

"Javi?" I tried, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. "Javi!" I called again. This time it came out as a scream. I pulled open the door, and Javi was there, pulling me into a warm embrace.

"Sh," he whispered as I clutched as his shirt and trembled. "I'm sorry, mi corazon. Was it a nightmare?" I nodded against his neck, pressing my nose into the skin that was still there.

"What were you doing?" I mumbled against his throat.

"Castle called cause you disappeared." Fingers threaded through my hair and I hummed in contentment. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Are you gonna make me go back?" I asked, pulling away slightly. Javi's fingers tightened fractionally in my hair and he smiled down at me.

"No," he said. I sighed in relief. "I prefer you here. Now let's go back to bed." I nodded and allowed him to pull me onto the mattress beside him.

"Things have been awfully quiet around here," I murmured, laying down half on top of him and resting my head against his chest.

"I think they're not sure where you are right now." I nodded. It made sense. Most of the precinct had known that I had been staying with Javi. And they had to have figured out that I had been taken somewhere else. I smiled sleepily as Javi's fingers tangled in my hair again.

"You really must like my hair," I murmured, eyes drifting closed.

"Yeah, it's really soft." Javi sounded just as tired. We lay there in companionable silence until the fingers rubbing lightly at my scalp lulled me to sleep.

~/~

I jerked awake with a gasp, fighting the shrill ringing in my ears and the hands holding me down against a warm, firm surface.

"Corazon, it's alright. Calm down," a soothing voice pressed against my ear. I sagged against Javi's chest and let the hand combing through my hair calm my frantic heartbeat. I watched his other hand reach out for the black phone, almost invisible on the black nightstand, and press talk.

"You've really gotta stop calling when we're in bed, Beckett." I blushed as the sound of laughter filtered through the tinny speakers. Javi put the phone on speaker and set it down on his chest, right next to my head.

"Castle told me Ryan snuck out last night?" Becketts voice filtered through.

"I'm still mad at you guys for that one," I grumbled, nuzzling sleepily against Javi's neck. I felt more that heard the chuckle reverberate through his chest.

"We thought it was the best move at the time," came the reply. "How are you feeling?" I stretched slightly against my human pillow and made a noise of slight discomfort.

"Nothing I can't handle. I'm really hungry, though." Javi snorted his laughter into my hair, and I glared up at him.

"Kevin, you really should go back to Castle's place. It's safer there." I scowled at the offending device against brown skin.

"I don't care, Beckett. I'm a cop. Or did you forget that?" A sigh wafted through the speaker.

"Okay, Ryan. I won't make you do anything." I nod in satisfaction, and settle back down against Javi.

"That it, Beckett?" A hand brushed up and down my back. I smiled slightly and closed my eyes again.

"One other thing, do you guys want to come back in later today?" She asked. "If Ryan's up to it, of course."

"Yes!" I shout, leaning up slightly and dislodging Javi's hands from my hair and back.

"Alright, I'll see you guys at noon." She hung up, and Javi threw the phone somewhere on the other side of the bed.

"You sure it's a good idea to go back?" Javi asked. I sat up and scowled down at him.

"I won't break," I told him. "My ribs feel better than they look, and if I have to sit around for another day doing absolutely nothing, I'll end up shooting something." Javi rubbed my arm, a slight frown marring his face.

"Alright, Kev," he said, rubbing my arm. "I just don't want anything else to happen to you." I smiled down at him and crawled off the bed, careful not to stretch out my protesting ribs too much.

"I worry about you, too," I told him, reaching down to pick up my shirt from last night and pulling it on. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him eye my body with a slight smirk before it disappeared underneath the soft fabric.

"What're you so smug about?" I asked him. His smile turned sheepish.

"I never thought I'd have you," he answered, complete honesty on his face. He sat up and swung his legs over the bed and onto the floor. "I always thought that it would never be a possibility; that there was no way in hell you'd actually be attracted to me." He expression turned serious, and he reached out to grasp my hand, pulling me forward.

"This is what you want, right?" I smiled and sat down next to him.

"It's definitely what I want," I told him. "I may have only realized it a few days ago, but I've been in love with you for a long time." He let out a relieved breath that I hadn't realized he'd been holding and turned toward me to press a kiss against the corner of my mouth.

"I've already told you that you are my heart." I snort at the cheesy statement and let out something that did not under any circumstances resemble a squeak as Javi pulled me until I was straddling his lap. An arm wrapped firmly around my waist, and the other hand came up to caress the bruises and stitches.

"I know it sounds stupid, but it's true, bro. I can't live without you." My face turned red at our position and his words, and he laughed.

"Stop it." I smacked him lightly on the chest. He just laughed even harder, until I was chuckling along with him. I hid my face against his shoulder as the last bits of laughter died and relaxed against him.

"This is nice," I murmured. The hand not around my waist reached back up to my face and brought it up for a kiss. It was slow and soul consuming, no trace of the urgency that had been present the night before. I sighed into his mouth as he nibbled lightly on my bottom lip and he took the chance to slip his tongue inside.

I let out a soft whine as he tore his lips away from mine and began to nibble and kiss at my jaw. He kissed his way around to the side of my neck and bit down softly, sending an electric current straight from his teeth to the pooling lust in my stomach. I cried out, grinding down against him. His hips stuttered up to meet mine and I felt an answering hardness press against my ass.

"I take it you liked that?" He chuckled against my skin, nipping playfully at the spot he just bit. Another shudder went through me, and I pressed my face against his shoulder once more. He took the chance to tilt his head and place soft bites and licks across the back of my neck.

I was shaking in his arms, letting out nonsensical whimpers and morphemes by the time he was finished marking my neck. His hips ground up, making his decidedly large erection press enticingly against mine.

With a groan, he pulled away from me and moved me down onto the bed.

"Javi?" I questioned as he got up and put several feet between us. I tried to keep the confused and hurt look off my face, but he apparently saw it because he crossed the distance between us and knelt down in front of me, grabbing my hands.

"Corazon," he whispered, pressing kisses to the bandages on my wrists. "You have no clue how much I would like to press you into my mattress and slowly drive you insane, but I need you to make sure that this is something you want. That you're mentally prepared." A realization dawned on me.

"You want me to get a psych eval, don't you?" Javi rested his head on my knee and sighed.

"Preferably." I nodded. It seemed like a reasonable request. If I had thought about it before, not even I knew if I was ready for anything more than what we shared the night before.

"Okay, I can see about getting one when we go in later." Javi lifted his head and stared at me in astonishment.

"Really?" I wanted to feel offended, but all I felt was amusement at his disbelief that it could be as easy as that to convince me.

"Really, really." I leaned down for a kiss, and he obliged, pulling away after a few seconds.

"Okay." Javi seemed to be trying to recollect his thoughts and will his still visible erection down. "You go take a shower, and I'll make us some breakfast, alright?" I nodded, slightly cheered by the prospect of a meal and waited until he moved out the door to make my way over to the shower.

~/~

I stretched out on Javi's couch, sighing in contentment.

"Where did you learn to cook?" I groaned, pressing a hand against my overfull stomach. Javi chuckled and sat on the floor next to me, reaching out a hand to stroke back my hair.

"I grew up in a family dominated by Hispanic women." That made sense.

"Remind me to thank your mother the next time I see her," I told him, closing my eyes against the hand that was rubbing my forehead.

"I'm sure she'll be pleased to hear that you enjoy her recipes," Javi replied. "Here, sit up real quick." I sat up to make room for him and he climbed up onto the couch next me, pulling me against his chest as he lay back.

"Don't we have to be at the precinct soon?" I asked, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

"Not for another two hours," he said. "Wanna watch something?" I nodded, and he flipped the TV on. He flipped through channels lazily, until I gripped his arm and sat up a bit.

"Hold on, go back a channel." He flipped the TV back and I sat up fully, pulling out my phone and dialing Jenny's number.

"Kevin what's going on?" I turned around to him, my eyes wide.

"That's my apartment building," I told him, pointing at the screen where fireman were finishing putting out a fire in a tall building.

"Hey, Kev, what's up?" I sighed in relief as I heard Jenny's voice over the phone.

"Jenny, there was a fire in our apartment."

"Oh, god. Are you alright?" She cried.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told her reassuringly. "I'm at Javi's."

"Oh, thank god." I could hear rustling on the other end and a door opening and shutting. "I'm going over there."

"No! It might be a trap." Jenny was silent on the other end for a moment before replying.

"I think you might be right," she said. "It's obvious that neither of us was living there anymore."

"Look, I'll call you back when I get some answers. I'm sure someone from the precinct is over there." I ehard Jenny sigh softly over the phone.

"Be careful, Kev," she warned. "These sound like some pretty dangerous people you're dealing with." I smiled

"Yes, mother." She tutted at me before hanging up the phone.

"You wanna go down there?" Javi asked when I put the phone back down. I shook my head.

"Like I said, it's probably a trap. Most of my things are kept in a storage locker and everything I need is here, so it's not that big of a deal." I sat up from my position against Javi and leaned back against the couch instead.

"And Jenny's alright?" I smiled at him and nodded.

"I don't think they'll go after her," I told him. "From the information they seem to have on me, they should know that we broke it off." My smile broke and I pulled my knees up to my chest and pressed my hands against my eyes. "Why can't they just leave me alone?" Javi sighed and pulled me until I was against him again.

"I promise we'll stop them," he murmured against my hair.

"I know," I said back, face still buried in my hands. "I'm just tired of this. It's only been a few days, but it feels like years."

"I know, babe. You wanna go ahead to the precinct? See what's going on with your apartment?" I nodded, feeling like a little kid being herded around by adults. But, for once I didn't mind.

~/~

"Beckett?" Kate turned around and smiled at us.

"Hey, I take it you heard about the apartment fire?" I nodded.

"We saw it on the news." Javi sat down at his desk and I pulled up my chair in between his and Beckett's.

"Any news on it?" Javi asked her, sipping at his coffee as he reached down to turn his computer on.

"Not really anything to go on," she said, typing away at the keyboard. "We know the fire was caused by a gas leak in your unit, but that's it." Javi frowned at his computer.

"That's strange." Beckett nodded.

"I know. We're trying everything we can, th-"

"No not that," Javi interrupted her. "My computer was turned on when I got here and the password hadn't been enabled.

"Maybe you left it on a few days ago?" I suggested. He shook his head.

"The janitors come around and turn off any computers at midnight to conserve energy." I shrugged.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." He nodded distractedly, pulling up a few programs and doing a quick file sweep.

"It never hurts to be sure," Beckett said. "Though if it helps, I haven't seen anyone lurking around." He nodded, eyes still on his computer.

"Hey." Castle rounded the corner. "Looking who decided to show up." Castle appeared from around the corner, grinning at us. "I thought you two would still be in be-"

"Shut up, Castle," Beckett and Javi chorused. I smiled at his pout and spun around to face Javi.

"Everything okay?" He glanced up at me from his computer.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like anyone's tampered with it or put any viruses on it." He smiled. "It was probably nothing, just really paranoid right now." I smiled back.

"I know the feeling." A woman walked into our little office space and I glanced away from Javi to her as she smiled at us.

"Detective Ryan?" She enquired in a soft voice. Everything about her was soft. Soft brown hair, soft features, soft brown eyes, along with a vaguely Egyptian look to her. I raised a hand slightly.

"That's me." She turned her bright smile on me.

"I'm Dr. Bryant. You called about a psychological evaluation?" I nodded and rose from my chair waving a goodbye at the rest of the team as I followed after her.

"The last few days have been troubling for you," she told me as we walked into the elevator. "I find the roof to be very calming. Why don't we talk there?"

"Sounds good," I replied. I knew that I should be more careful about going places with anyone other than my team, but I couldn't find myself to suspect her of trying to hurt me.

We exited the elevator and I smiled at the janitor by the roof door.

"Hey, Stu." He smiled at me and moved to let us pass.

"Glad to see you back," he called after me.

"Glad to be back," I told him, beginning to move away. Before I could get too far, he reached out to grab my arm. I tensed at the unexpected contact, but relaxed when faced with his earnest brown eyes.

"Can I talk to you after you're done here?" He asked. "There's something I need to tell you." I nodded and smiled, looking relieved.

"I'll see you," I said as he released my arm, walking towards Dr. Bryant, who had stopped to turn and look back.

When I stepped out onto the roof, I tilted my head back and inhaled the familiar smells of smoke and smog.

"Tell me about what has happened since this began," Dr. Bryant said, stepping up next to me. "I need to know how you reacted to the situation, so I need the tiniest details that you can give me, especially those regarding how you responded to certain stimuli." I smiled at her efficient, if not clinical, vocabulary and spilled out everything that had happened, starting from the moment that I pressed ignore on Jenny's call.

The doctor was silent for a while, just staring off into the distance with a contemplative look on her face.

"You're handling this remarkably well," she commented at last. "I think it has something to do with detective Esposito being with you, though I am supposed to inform you that relationships with ones partner are frowned upon." She smiled to let me know that she thought the opposite of Javi's and mine.

"But the nightmares?" I questioned. Her smile turned a bit sad.

"While painful, are very normal," she said. "I would be worried if you weren't having any." I nodded slowly.

"So I'm fine? Nothing there that might impede my judgment or making life altering decisions?" She got that far away look again that made me think that she had some problems of her own before turning back to me.

"Not anymore than anyone else." I smiled, relieved.

"That's good. We should get back downstairs, now." The doctor nodded and followed after me into the building. Inside, the alarms were blaring and lights flashed over the walls.

"Oh, dear," the psychologist muttered. My heart froze in my chest and I sprinted for the stairs, taking them two at a time before I got to my floor.

"Javi!" I called into the dust and smoke that seemed everywhere. People groaned on the floor, though none seemed to be fatally injured, just shocked. "Javi?" I tried again as I made my way over to my teams office space.

"He's gone," I heard Beckett choke out as Castle propped her up against a shoulder. "There was the blast and then he was gone when we all recovered." I shook my head frantically, heart stuttering and beating in my chest as I glanced around the room.

"No," I whispered. "…" I sank to the floor, clutching my head in my hands. I knew then why the ring had been so quiet. They were planning this the whole time. I had discarded Jenny as a source of bait because we broke off the engagement, but even if they didn't know Javi and I were together, kidnapping someones partner was blackmail enough.

~/~

Sorry.

Oh, and Dr. Bryant is a real person. She's my psychologist and she's amazing. Don't judge. I have issues. So, cliff hanger, anyone?


	9. In which there is a gun shot

Chapter 9

I figured that 2 reviews was the most I could squeeze out of you guys, so I decided to go ahead and post this. Enjoy!

I'm going to toy with a different style of writing, so bear with me. Let me know if you think it's worse, better, or just different.

~/~

The paramedics arrive just as most of the dust settles, leaving a smoky haze. I'm still huddled on the floor, clutching my head. Beckett is sitting next to me, holding some tissues to her bleeding leg. Castle is sitting next to her, arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder.

"Javi," it comes out as a low whimper. A hand rubs my back and I feel Beckett shift a little bit closer.

"We'll find him, Kevin," she whispers in my ear. I just shake my head a clench my hair. This is my fault.

"Is anyone over here injured?" I lift up my head to watch as the paramedic walks over, responding to Castle's wave. I move away from Beckett when he gets closer to give them some space and survey the room around me. It's been completely demolished. Desks are overturned and papers litter the floor. There's no clear source of where the explosion came from. I shakily stand up and make my way over to the elevator.

_Oh. _

The doors are blown apart and melted at the edges and the surrounding area is blackened and charred. I shudder. They clearly weren't worried about anybody getting hurt.

"Sir?" One of the paramedics approaches me. I think he notices the bruises on my face and thinks I'm a victim of the blast. I ignore him. "Sir, are you injured?" I shake my head and look away from him.

"No, I wasn't in the blast…" _But I should've been._ I leave that last part out. He doesn't need to know about all my problems. I walk away as the man goes back to his business and hear a low moan come from somewhere to the right of me. I see an overturned desk and an arm sticking out from it. I quickly walk over and heave the desk off the poor soul. It's Stu underneath the desk. He's bloody all over. I don't think that most of it is from the desk.

"Stu?" I kneel down beside him, clenching his hand in my mine when he reaches out for me.

"Hey, kiddo." I smile softly down at the man and look over my shoulder.

"I need a paramedic over here!" I call. A tug on my hand brings me back to the older man on the floor.

"Nah, I ain't got long left." He coughs deep in his chest and blood dots his chin. I shake my head and wave the paramedic looking around over.

"No, Stu let them help." He shakes his head weakly and grasps my fingers.

"No, listen to me," he rasps. "I know who took detective Esposito. 'is been an inside job the whole time. Just not what you were 'specting." The paramedic arrives and checks him out, looking up at me and shaking his head sadly. I feel tears appear in my eyes and listen closely to the dying man. The janitor's been a good friend to me over the years.

"I caught Randy snooping in Espo's computer last night. He's a hacker as a hobby. Never thought he'd take it this far, though. But I did some snoopin' of my own. It's his brother who's the real monster. He's the whole head of the ring thing ya'll are after." His grip on my hand starts to weaken and he closes his eyes, breaths stuttering.

"Thanks, Stu," I whisper, pressing my other hand to his face.

"Welcome, kiddo." His breath rattles and he's dead. I look up at the paramedic, who pats me on the shoulder.

"He a friend of yours?" I nod my head.

"His name was Stu. He was a good man." The paramedic nods and gently unhooks my hand from the death grip. I laugh hysterically. Death grip. The paramedic gives me an understanding look and rest a hand on my back.

"Let me take care of him, now. There's nothing you can do." I nod and step back thinking, _there's nothing you can do here, either._

I sit on the floor for a long time, watching the paramedics taking out the wounded and the few dead. I count three. That's three more lives on my hands. I sit there until Beckett limps over to me, holding a dusty jacket. It isn't until she wraps it around me that I realize I'm shivering. I take in a deep breath and try to calm down, breathing in Javi's familiar scent.

"I know who took him," I whisper to her, tears filling my eyes. I refuse to let them fall. She sits down next to me.

"Who, Kevin?"

"It was a janitor named Randy." I see her close her eyes and breath a sigh. We are both relieved that it isn't a cop who's doing all this, but we both knew Randy. He had always been a sweet ginger with a southern accent.

"How do you know?" I look over the desk that I had overturned and stare at the blood spots.

"Stu. He's dead." Her shoulders slump slightly.

"Why would he do this?" I shake my head.

"His brother is the head of the whole thing." Becketts eyes glaze over, and I can tell she's thinking about how it happened.

"He's a janitor, so he knows where all the cameras are. He'd make sure to avoid them." I nod at her thinking.

"But there's no way to avoid the camera at and in the elevator." Beckett shakes her head, closing her eyes again.

"I don't think he's too worried about getting caught right now. More like he doesn't want us to know where he's going."

"That makes sense. But we should ask the people on the first level if they same him or Javi anywhere after the blast." We're in full detective mode now. I've never been Beckett's partner, but I feel like our minds are connected now. Javi's one of her best friends. We're both dead-set on getting him back.

"I'll go with you," Castle says from behind us. "Beckett should stay here." She opens her mouth to retort but I place a hand on her arm.

"You're injured," I tell her.

"You are too." I smile at her stubbornness.

"But I can walk." She concedes defeat and after a few 'be careful. Don't be stupid' rants, we're on the first floor, asking the confused officers and clerks if they've seen either Javi or Randy.

"We're getting nowhere," Castle growls after dealing with our latest hysterical clerk.

"We can't just give up," I tell him. "People are still panicking over the blast. Imagine how they were right when it happened."

"I see your point," he says, following my line of thinking. "Why don't we check the exits? There might be something there." I nod, glad to have Castles brain on my side.

We go through all the exits and it's not until the last one that I see something. It's the pen I brought back from my trip to the Bahamas. Javi had stolen it and never given it back. I run out the exit, Castle hot on my heels.

There's no sign of anyone around, but I wasn't expecting there to be. I'm looking for something, anything, that can tell me where they went. There's nothing. I look around in frustration at the building and those next to it. No windows. No cameras.

"FUCK!" I pound my fist against the wall, tears threatening to spill over once again.

"Ryan, why would they take Esposito in the first place?" Castle asks. I stop to think for a moment.

"He's bait." I realize what Castle is trying to tell me. "They're going to contact me, and tell me where to meet them." Castle nods, silently encouraging me to continue. "And I'll go in exchange for his freedom." Castle shakes his head.

"I'm sorry but I can't let that happen." I turn to face him full on.

"Try and stop me," I growl. It's my fault that he got kidnapped, and I'm going to make sure that he gets back safely. No matter the cost.

"It's not what he would want." I know that. Does he think I'm stupid?

"If it were Beckett, what would you do?" He seems to falter for a minute.

"You know the answer to that." I nod. That's why I asked it in the first place.

"It's what I have to do," I tell him. He nods hesitantly.

"I know. I won't stop you." He steps back, showing me that he's being honest. My phone rings.

_Perfect timing, _I think sarcastically.

"Ryan," I answer, my shaking fingers pulling out the device and pressing the talk button.

"I _had hoped that you would be dead by now, but it seems we have had to resort to more drastic measures._" It's Randy's voice on the line. The jig is up.

"Randy, please," I try reasoning with him. "Just let him go. You don't need to get involved in your brothers fights." A snort comes over the speakers.

"_He's my brother, Ryan. Blood runs thicker and all tha_t." I sigh.

"What do you want me to do?" A silence stretches on the other end and I wait with bated breath.

"_Come to 221b Butcher st., and we'll talk there_."

"What about Esposito? How do I know he's still alive?" There is a sound of movement and then the most blessed voice I've ever heard.

"_Kevin?" _I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Javi, I'm coming, just hold on," I say frantically.

"_Stay away, Coraz-_" He breaks off into a scream and I hear a sickening, wet pop.

_"That was his shoulder I just dislocated," _Randy tells me. _"You have one hour. No funny tricks, or it's his neck next." _The phone disconnects and I look up at Castle, the tears finally spilling over.

"I've gotta go get him." Castle nods, the rare serious look on his face.

"I know," he says. "I'll sneak out with Beckett and we'll follow you. Text me the address." I nod gratefully at him and he walks back inside, leaving me to grab Javi's keys out of his coat pocket and walk to the garage where his car is parked.

_I'm coming, Javi, _I think. _Whether you want me to or not._

~/~

221B Butcher st. is as gross as it sounds. It's on the bad side of the Bronx, and that's saying something. Even the most seasoned of cops are reluctant to go here. When I walk up to the door, I'm yanked inside and shoved down a hall and into a room with no windows and only the door leading to the hallway.

"The boss'll be back soon," is all the man grunts before slamming the door. I turn around and there's the face I never thought I'd see again. The one I'm sacrificing myself for.

"Corazon," he whispers, standing up. I hurry over to him and scan him for the injury I heard over the phone. He realizes this and smiles grimly.

"They reset it." I nod and stupidly feel myself start to cry again. His hands cup my face and brush away the tears.

"Oh, Kevin," he sighs, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Sorry, I've been such a girl lately." Javi chuckles lightly and pulls me against him, arms locked securely around me.

"That's okay." I sigh against his chest and let myself relax a bit. "Is everyone alright?" I nod.

"Beckett's leg was bleeding, but she's fine. Stu's dead, as well as three others. I don't know who."

"Oh, babe," he whispers into my hair. "I'm sorry. He was a good friend." I snuffle wetly against his shirt.

"It's my fault." He presses a kiss into my hair before running his fingers through the strands.

"No, it's Randy's," he tells me, lifting my head so that I can look at him. "Those people's deaths are not on your head." I just shake my head and bury it back into his chest. We hold each other for a minute, just breathing each other in. The door slams open and we reluctantly pull apart, Javi lightly sidestepping so that he's in front of me.

"The boss'll see you now." It's the same man that shoved me into the room with Javi. He seems to be speaking to both of us. Javi grabs my hand and we follow the man out of the room. Randy's in the living room, sitting on a threadbare couch.

"Randy, everyone knows that you and your brother are the ones running this. If you let us go, we can cut you a deal," I tell him. He snorts derisively.

"And what about my brother?" I just shake my head. We both know that's not going to happen. "You completely blew apart our cover," he told me. "I had no choice."

"You could've just not gotten involved in the first place," Javi told him, drawing me behind him. I was the one Randy wanted to hurt.

"HE'S MY BROTHER!" We both flinch as Randy screams at us. He takes a deep breath, standing up to start pacing.

"I don't need you Esposito," he says after a minute. "He can leave. But you, Ryan, I'll hold ransom or something until I can get to my brother. We'll go into hiding!" Javiers grip on my hand tightened.

"Look," I try. "If you walk away now, we won't come after you. Just let us go." We all know it's not true. As soon as he walked out that door, he would be a wanted man.

"Nice try, Ryan." Randy snorts, running a hand through his short red hair. "Sit on the couch, Ryan. Your boyfriend can stay there. I don't wanna let him go anymore." Javi's hand tightens around mine and we both finally see how mentally deranged our former friend is. "NOW!" I gently pry my hand from Javi's, ignoring his noise of protest, and sit down on the couch.

"What do you want, Randy?" I ask calmly, not meeting Javi's panicked eyes. He pulls out a knife and yanks on my arm, pulling me forward so that the sharp end rests on my face.

"How much do you guys know?" He growls at Javi. I try to pull away from the demanding grip, but he just pulls me forward more, digging the knife into my uninjured cheek.

"He doesn't know all of it," I gasp. "I found out more after you took him." I focus my eyes on Javi's hands as they begin to tremble and curl at his sides.

"What doesn't he know?" Randy snarls. I squirm a bit.

"Let go of me, and I'll tell you," I say, wondering where the hell Beckett and Castle were.

"Not a chance," Randy laughs, moving the knife from my face and cutting a slow line down my chest. The big man that had shoved us in here has to physically hold Javi back when I stifle a whimper.

"Stop!" Javi screams. "Detener o voy jodido a rasgar en pedazos, maldito bastardo!" I take a deep breath as the knife pulls away from my chest and rests on my neck. Javi immediately quiets and stops fighting the man holding him. I can hear pounding and I think it's my pulse pounding in my ears. I feel like I'm about pass out. The knife pulling away from my neck makes me realize that it's not in my head. The pounding is coming from the front door.

"Just let us go," I plead with Rand, not wanting him to get into anymore trouble than he already was. Randy and the big man run to the door, and Javi moves over and pulls me off the couch, hands checking the cut on my chest and then wrapping his arms around me.

"Corazon, are you alright?" an arm comes up from around my back and lifts up my chin. I smile at him.

"I'm good," I tell him. He presses a kiss to my forehead before looks up, horror dawning on his face.

"Javi?" I ask. Distantly, I hear choruses of 'put your weapon down!' and 'get on the ground' and I turn around just as Randy pulls the trigger.

~/~

I know, I'm sorry. Don't kill me. We're down to the last one or two chapters, though! So, yeah…


	10. In which there is an Epilogue

This is unbetaed. Authors note at the end.

"_Everybody, clear the area! Now!" EMTs rushed past me, pushing me firmly to the side. _

"_Javi?" I tried to whisper in shock, falling to my knees next to the body on the ground. "Javier!" I screamed._

"Hey, Ryan." A gentle hand laid itself on my back and I looked up from where my head had been resting in my hands. Beckett held out a cup of coffee as if it were an olive branch, Castle close behind her with two other disposable paper cups. I grasped it thankfully and tried to smile at their concerned expressions. From the way their frowns deepened, I hadn't succeeded.

"He's gonna be alright, you know," Castle told me, passing Beckett her cup and flopping down ungracefully in one of the hard plastic seats next to me. Beckett smoothed her coat before sitting, stretching her injured leg out in front of her. I looked down at the bright checkered tiles, unable to formulate a response. As I covered my face again, I could feel the silent support on either side of me, and I let myself slip into a light trance.

_Arms wrapped around my torso, pulling me back. "Let them do their job," Beckett murmured in my ear. I fought her, my vision blurring as I stared at the blood seeping into the ground. Tears leaked from my eyes and I slumped against my captor, uniforms rushing Randy past us and out the door. _

"_It's gonna be okay."_

"Detective Ryan?" I looked up at the doctor who had stepped out of the emergency bay doors.

"Yes?" I answered, voice scratchy from lack of use. She smiled kindly at me. "Mr. Esposito's awake, and asking for you. We just moved him out of the ICU, so you can visit him if you like." I jumped up from my seat, startling my companions. I glanced down at Beckett, a silent question in my eyes. She curled her lips up in a smile and patted my arm.

"We can wait," she said softly. "Go." I nodded and turned back to the doctor, allowing her to lead me through another set of light blue doors labeled 'recovery'. She left me at the doorway of a private room with a smile and a comment on visiting hours.

"Kev?" I glanced up and met Espo's smiling brown eyes. Instead of the relief I thought I'd feel, rage coursed through me. Javier had thrown himself in front of Randy just in time to take the shot meant for me.

"What the fuck?" I growled stalking towards the white hospital bed. Javier flinched and had the grace to look sheepish. "If you weren't lying in a damn hospital bed, I would punch you in your bastardy face!" Javier's face contorted like he was trying not to laugh.

"Bastardy?" My eyes snapped back to his from where they were staring at his blood stained bandage and all the fight drained out of me, replace by exhaustion from the whole day.

"You almost died," I whispered, hands clenching into fists at my side. "You- you _did _die on the way here. They had to revive you." Javi's amused expression crumbled in the face of my defeated posture. I walked over to the arm chair by his bed and slumped into it, taking the hand Javi offered me. He stiffened in surprise and released my hand only to touch my chest. I hissed and flinched away. His expression darkened and he hit the nurse button.

"Why didn't you get that seen to?" I scowled at him.

"It's not that bad." A nurse came in, tilting her head questioningly.

"Everything okay?" She queried.

"No, ma'am. My partner here has neglected to see to a cut on his chest." She glanced at me and sighed.

"You cop types are all the same." I made a face at her as she motioned for me to stand up. "Shirt off."

"This is not what I want to be doing right now," I informed Javi as the nurse snapped on a pair of white gloves and grinned at me.

~/~

"Kevin," Javi's voice filtered through my half asleep state. I jerked up, groaning in stiffness and dislodging Javier's hand from where it had been rubbing at my scalp. He smiled at me and jerked his head at the door.

"Hey, guys." Beckett smiled at us, Castle shifting uncomfortably behind her. "Visiting hours are over." I sighed and looked back at Javi's apologetic face. "We'll give you guys a moment," she called, probably dragging Castle unwillingly behind her on her way out.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." I muttered, blinking tiredly. His hand made its' way back into my hair, scratching soothingly. I melted into it and reached out to cup his face.

"It's okay. I did too," he informed me, silent laughter crinkling the corners of his eyes. I sobered up immediately.

"Don't ever do that again," I told him firmly. When he looked like he was about to argue, I cut him off. "I'm serious. How would you feel if I did something like that?" His face fell and his hand tightened in my hair. "Exactly. Javi, I'm not a damned delicate flower. You know that I can take care of myself." Javi sighed and nodded.

"Alright, Corazon. I get your point." I smiled and leaned down to kiss him, flicking my tongue against his lips before retreating back.

"You two are disgustingly adorable, but we need to get back to the precinct," Castle called, poking his head in the door. My hand slipped off Javi's face as his slipped out of my hair, and I smiled sadly.

"I'll be back tomorrow," I told him. Javi nodded.

"Go. Catch the damn bastards behind this." As I walked out the door, Castle's hands came down on my shoulder.

"So let me tell you what I'm going to do to you if you hurt him," he started smiling in that fake amicable way of his.

~/~ 6 months later ~/~

"Hey babe, have you seen my holster?" I handed Javier the leather loops and looked around the messy apartment as he slid it on. The red couch was covered in clothing from the night before, strewn haphazardly in our haste to get them off.

I shuddered as I remembered the desperation with which we had clung together, mouths locked, stumbling over shoes and boxes that we had yet to finish unpacking. Javier glanced up at my expression and grinned smugly. I glared sharply back at him.

"Have you seen my tie?" I asked, shaking off the memory. _No time for that now_, I thought. We had to get to work before Beckett killed us for being late again. Javi sauntered up to me and I backed up hastily. Instead of the kiss I was expecting, he crowded close, reaching behind me and looping a length of cloth around the back of my neck.

"Right here, where I left it last night," he murmured into my ear. I bit my lip as the sensation brought another memory, this one of when we had made it into bed. My whimpers had been muffled in the sheets as Javi had licked me open before slowly rocking into me, covering me from my fingers where they gripped the pillows to my toes where they had scrunched up the comforter. He hadn't touched my cock that time, just rubbed me against the sheets and whispered hotly into my ear and he slowly thrust into my clenching hole.

"Mmm, you were so willing last night," he whispered in my ear, as if he could hear my thoughts. "Came without a hand on you, just spread open and writhing on my dick, didn't you?" He slid a leg in between mine, pressing up against my quickly hardening erection. I rutted against the firm muscle helplessly, whining as Javi nibbled on the tip of my ear. His hands came around to cup my ass, pulling me more firmly onto his leg.

"W-we're gonna be late," I hissed, arching into his grip.

"M-hm," he hummed, massaging the flesh under his hands, encouraging my hips to roll against his firm thigh. "We're going to be even later when you have to change your pants," he chuckled. I gasped and gripped his shirt, right where the newly healed scar lay. It only took a few more thrusts before I was coming in my pants like a teenager, face mashed against Javi's collarbone. A hand smoothed over my back soothingly and I quickly detangled myself, looking around our apartment for a new pair of pants to replace the ones with quickly cooling come in them.

"I hate you," I growled at my fiancé, digging around in a box labeled 'clothes'. Javi laughed, the smug bastard, as he adjusted his rather large hard-on in his jeans.

"No you don't," he informed me, tilting my chin up and pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. "You love me. Now hurry up, we're gonna be late." He dodged my smack and went to stride out the door.

"Meet you at the car!" I called, rolling my eyes fondly. Our cat, Sparky came up and head butted my ankle, meowing up at me. I smiled and reached down to give her a quick scratch, finally content.

~/~

Oh my god. So. It's finally finished. Not the ending that I'm sure some of you waited almost two years for, sure, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened to me any longer and I felt really, really bad about making you guys wait that long. I love you all, and I appreciate the patience and reviews (even if they did come a year after I posted the last chapter).

I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to hopefully writing more in the future! It won't be in the Castle fandom, but I'm thinking maybe Teen Wolf or Merlin? Let me know your thoughts I love you all! You guys are the best.

-Spade


End file.
